Unknown Reason
by kandisi
Summary: After Castiel's death, Dean is so consumed with guilt that he hires a shapeshifting prostitute to impersonate Castiel in the bedroom. However... Castiel is alive and Jack has special plans for him and the Winchesters... Dean/Cass, Sam/Cass, Dean/Sam/Cass. Warnings for language and lots of smut.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Unknown Reason

 **Summary:** After Castiel's death, Dean is so consumed with guilt that he hires a shapeshifting prostitute to impersonate Castiel in the bedroom. However... Castiel is alive and Jack has special plans for him and the Winchesters... Dean/Cass, Sam/Cass, Dean/Sam/Cass. Warnings for language and lots of smut.

 **Characters:** Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel, Jack Kline, Max Baines, Alicia Baines, Walt, Aiden, Tim Janklow, Reggie Hull

 **Parings:** Dean/Castiel, Sam/Castiel, Sam/Dean/Castiel, Dean/shapeshifter!Castiel, a tad of Lucifer/Castiel

 **Warnings:** Language, lots and lots of sex, alcohol usage, some violence, minor spoilers for SPN season 13, evil!Jack, threesomes

 **A/N:** It took me over a month to finish this. It turned out a _lot_ longer than I meant for it to... still I hope that anyone who has the time to read all of this will enjoy it. X) No flames, please!

Jack is kind of evil in this, but since I started this fic before season 13 of SPN began, I had no idea he was going to be one of the good guys.

Also, sorry to those who prefer "Cas" to "Cass" (Including myself, lol). But, my grandmother's very hard of hearing and I noticed they say "Cass" in the subtitles. -shrugs-

And if this fanfic somehow inspires any fanart, I'd love to see it!

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Supernatural in any way, shape or form. (Unfortunately, lol)

 **Unknown Reason**

000

 _The blade went through his chest._

 _Lucifer smiled. "That was_ _ **fun!**_ _"_

" _ **No!**_ _"_ _Dean screamed out._

" _I love you," Mary said, before she began beating Lucifer with a pair of angel-warded brass knuckles._

 _They went through the rip in space and time, and then—just like that—the rip closed._

 _Shortly thereafter, Dean Winchester looked up as if he were asking—begging—God to help... and then he fell to his knees, staring downwards at his best-friend's lifeless body..._

 _Sam Winchester ran away, leaving Dean there all alone..._

 _Dean knew he needed to get up, go with Sam to check on Lucifer's unholy child, but... he couldn't move. No, he was frozen._

 _And Castiel was dead._

 _ **Castiel**_ _.. was.._ _ **dead**_ _.._

 _And as for Dean's mother, Mary Winchester, well... if she wasn't dead, she surely_ _ **would**_ _be soon... Yet another one of the many casualties of the Devil himself._

 _Dean's eyes began to burn white hot with unshed tears._

" _I love you," Castiel said to Dean after he had been stabbed with the Lance of Michael. "I love you all..."_

" _Castiel's long gone, because of_ _ **you**_ _..."_

 _Dean lifted the sheet from Castiel's lifeless body, taking one final look at the—his—angel, before he ripped the curtains from the wall and began to wrap Castiel's body up, give him a proper hunter's funeral._

" _Goodbye, Cass..." He threw the lighter._

 _The angel blade went through his chest again._

 _Dean kept seeing it over and over again, playing out in his mind like some sort of demented, broken record._

" _No!_ " Dean shouted, and then bolted upright in his bed.

Sam ran into the room from next door.

"Dean," Sam said, placing a hand on his brother's shoulder once he had gotten close enough to him. "Are you alright?"

Dean forced a sarcastic laugh. "Of course I am," he replied, sarcastic still. "I mean, Castiel's _**dead**_ and our mom might as well be, but apart from that, I feel _fantastic_."

Sam sighed out the words, "I have the nightmares, too, Dean," before he went on to say, "But we can't let our feelings get in the way of finding Jack. He just... took off..."

"Yeah, that's right," Dean said, rubbing at his forehead. "As if Lucifer Jr. wasn't bad enough, they had to go and give _**it**_ an **actual** _name_."

"Your nightmares aren't about Jack, though, are they?"

Dean smirked at him. "Do you really have to ask?"

"Look," Sam began. "I miss him, too... so you're not alone in this."

"I don't want to talk about him," Dean said swiftly and without thought. "What I'd like is a drink."

"Dean," Sam replied, sounding none too thrilled, "It's after midnight. You can't _actually_ be serious about leaving the bunker in the middle of the night to get drunk, a-gain?"

"I'm dead serious."

"What is it you _do_ every night? I mean, _after_ the bars close? You _never_ get back until _just_ before sunrise..."

"I'm having sex," Dean blurted out. "Not that it's any of your business."

"Fine, Dean," Sam sighed as he looked into his brother's green eyes. "Go get drunk, have sex with strangers, and then come back and pray to Chuck—God—some more to bring back Cass."

"I hate God," Dean said sternly. "I mean, angels don't have souls, so what happens when they die? They just 'wink out' and that's it? I'll never get to see the real Cass ever again, even in Heaven?"

"Dean," Sam remarked silently, "I think you're still a little drunk..."

"Buzzed, Sam. Not drunk."

"I still don't think you should be driving..."

"Well that's too damn bad for you," Dean said with a smirk. "I'm leaving."

"I'm going with you, then." Sam smirked likewise.

"No," Dean said, standing from the bed, "You're not. I have an... 'appointment'..."

Sam shook his head. "You mean with another stripper?"

"Sort of." Dean shrugged. "Anyway," he said, earnestly, "Unless you want to watch me having sex in my baby, you may want to stay here."

Sam held up both of his hands in a 'stop right there' motion. "No, thank you."

Dean was lying, but there was no way he could let Sam know what he was really up to... Sam would think he was insane. Hell, Dean thought that he _himself_ was insane for even _considering_ that which was on his mind.

"Well," Dean began as he rose from his seat on the bed, "I've got to be going, now."

Sam exhaled a long sigh. "Sure, Dean," he said with ultimate disapproval. "At least tell me where it is you're going..."

Dean shrugged. "You know," he said gruffly, "that new bar in the next town over that's just for hunters."

"Well," Sam sighed a contented sigh. "At least I know you'll be a _little_ bit safer in knowing you'll be in a place that specifically caters to hunters."

"Yeah... I guess so, Sammy... Trust me; you've got nothing to worry about..."

 **000**

"Yeah, Sammy's got nothing to worry about, and neither do I..."

Dean made way to park in the strip club's overcrowded parking lot.

He knew why most hunters came here, and it _wasn't_ exactly for the topless chicks...

Had Dean slept with any of them? Yes, he had (free of charge)... but tonight was going to be different. Yes, tonight was the night where he would get to do what he _really_ wanted.

Who he really wanted.

A set of double doors opened as he walked into the club.

It was dark and dreary and smelt of liquor, cigarette smoke and stale cigars, and there were flashing lights all around him.

Dean took a seat at a booth nearest to the main stage.

"Hey, Dean," one of the waitresses said to him. "What can I get you to drink?"

"Just whiskey, straight up."

She winked at him. "Coming right up."

While waiting for his drink to arrive, Dean focused on the stripper in front of him and listened intently to the music.

 _Every sentence you say, and every desperate attempt to draw attention hides a lie... Diseased, pathologically inflamed shaped by your_ _ **sophisticated**_ _ **eloquence**_ _. You vehemently assert your devious views which reign over your smallness. A champion at_ _ **mystification**_ _and_ _ **treachery**_ _...  
_

 _I don't understand how you can still do_ _ **this**_ _to someone you call a_ _ **loyal friend**_ _... is it possible to listen to someone who hears no one_ _ **but**_ _himself?_

Dean watched as the stripper danced. It was none other than Kim Kardashian, only, not her at the same time...

 _Why compromise and trust someone who's betrayed you countless times? I'm not gonna watch the same game over and over again. I'm not like them, here's the money for your patch work.  
_

 _You_ _ **can't**_ _overpower me, and this is not a trademark to camouflage your indolence. How do you want take command_ _ **without**_ _knowledge, morality, logic and rules? Just useless words and waste of time, still the same old business while things_ _ **change**_ _...  
_

Dean's whiskey arrived. He nodded his thanks to the waitress, and then brought the drink to his lips, taking a rather large initial swallow of the alcoholic drink.

"So," began the waitress. "Are you having a good night tonight so far, Dean?"

"No," Dean replied honestly. "I get sick of seeing the shifters posing as the same women night after night, you know?"

"If you have a request," the waitress said, "I can put in one for you. As you know the price is a bit steep, though. One-hundred dollars."

"Yeah, I know," Dean answered, taking another sip from the crystal glass in his right hand. "I don't want to make my 'fantasies' public, though. There's, yeah... too many people that I know here... I was hoping for something on more of a... 'personal' basis, if you know what I mean."

"Personal, huh?" the waitress said with a chuckle. "No worries. We get 'personal' requests all of the time, hint hint."

"Just get someone—anyone—who thinks they can help me out."

The waitress cocked her head to the side. "I don't know. I mean—you are Dean Winchester—so that would make most of the shifters here a little uneasy."

"Look," Dean began firmly. "I'm not looking to make a kill. Not tonight, anyway. I'll also pay whatever they're asking for. Money is no object, it means nothing to me."

The waitress raised an eyebrow at him. "Any type in particular you're looking for?"

Dean chugged the remaining whiskey from the glass he was holding and then slammed its base against the tabletop. "Someone _without_ much experience."

The waitress laughed out loud. "You mean like a virgin...?"

Dean nodded at her. "Well, yeah, I guess..."

The waitress laughed all over again. "Um, sorry, Mr. Winchester, but you'll be hard-pressed to find any virgins here."

"I know that," Dean muttered, his face flushed a slight shade of red from embarrassment. "I just mean whoever it is who _has_ the least amount of experience in the sack."

"Well, there is—"

Swiftly, Dean replied, "Don't want to know their name, don't care to know their name."

"I'll send her over," the waitress responded. "Meanwhile, would you like another drink?"

Dean nodded. "Did you really have to ask me that?"

The waitress chuckled at him, collected Dean's empty drink, and then walked away.

 _I don't understand how you can_ _ **still**_ _do_ _ **this**_ _… to someone you call a_ _ **loyal friend**_ _… is it possible to listen to someone who hears no one_ _ **but**_ _himself…_

 _I don't understand how you can_ _ **still**_ _do_ _ **this**_ _... to someone you call a_ _ **loyal friend**_ _, is it possible to listen to someone who hears no one_ _ **but**_ _himself..._

 _Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself, I don't know the answer to your question, why why why?_

 _Go go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself I don't know the answer to your question, why why why?_

 _Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself I don't know the answer to the question, why why why?_

 _Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself. Go go_ _ **fuck**_ _yourself_.

"Go, go, _fuck yourself_ ," Dean sang along absentmindedly. This song was like all songs, now. Every song he listened to—no matter what the context—reminded him of his fallen angel, Castiel...

"Thank you," he said to the waitress as she set down another glass of whiskey on the table. Shortly thereafter, 'Melania Trump' sat down next to him.

Dean couldn't help it, and fell into a fit of laughter. "You've gotta be kidding me, right?"

"Dean Winchester," the shifter said in a boastful manner. "So, tell me... what can I do for you?"

"How old are you?" he asked her. "I mean, how old really?"

"Oh I'm old enough."

Dean smirked. "Seriously. I'm not getting into bed with some fifteen year old."

The shifter smiled at him. "Maybe I'm fifty... would that bother you?"

"Uh, yeah," Dean replied, and then took another drink of whiskey.

"Lucky for you I'm 19."

"Still a little young, but yeah, I guess you'll do..."

She inched her way closer to Dean in the booth. "Buy me a drink?"

"Fine." Dean nodded, before he then gestured back to the waitress.

"Yes?" the waitress asked him.

"Bring me a... a..." He turned his head. "What would you like?"

"Grey Goose and tonic."

Dean couldn't help but smile. Castiel had liked vodka...

" _What the hell happened to you?"_

" _I found the liquor store."_

" _And?"_

" _And I_ _ **drank**_ _it!"_

"So..." 'Melania Trump' continued. "What's your pleasure? Angelina Jolie? Lady

Ga Ga? Gwyneth Paltrow? Cameron Diaz?"

Dean shook his head. He looked left, then right, just to make sure no one had a close eye on him.

He reached into his pocket, and removed a photograph...

"It's..." Dean began, not knowing how the hell he was going to sound. "...this guy, right here..."

Melania took the photograph from Dean's hand and studied it.

"He's very cute."

"Yeah," Dean whispered, knocking back the rest of his drink. "I'll pay you a grand if you can just... well, impersonate him for me, for a while..."

Melania chuckled at him. "You mean all of that money, for no sex?"

Dean shook his head. "No, I... I want sex."

"Well," Melania continued, earnestly, "It's going to cost you three grand, and we're on. I'm generally not into shapeshifting into men..."

"Fine, three grand," Dean replied, before two more drinks arrived at the table.

"Would you like me to shift into him right now?" Melania asked Dean. "I can give you a free lap dance as your secret lover if you want..."

"No," Dean said quickly. "There's too many hunters here who know me. I don't want them to get the impression that I'm... I'm..."

"Gay?" Melania finished for him.

Dean frowned at her. "I'm _not_ gay, okay? I just... want Cass back... When he died, he never knew how much I loved him... He _died_ thinking he _didn't_ matter to me... He died without knowing _how_ much I cared for him... How much I... I really loved him."

Melania nodded. "I've heard of Castiel. Team Free Will, right? He helped save us from the apocalypse."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "Not that there's enough of us left anymore to call us a real team. With Cass dead, that only leaves me and Sam."

Melania placed a hand on Dean's thigh, under the table as she began to caress him.

"Stop it," Dean hissed, knocking the shifter's hand away.

"Well," the shifter replied, "that's not one I hear every day." She finished the rest of her drink and smiled at Dean. "So... you wanna go somewhere?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "I rented a hotel room a couple miles over."

"A hotel room?" She chuckled. "Why not some seedy motel where you took the other girls?"

Quickly, Dean said, "Because I would **never** take _Cass_ to some seedy motel."

"I see," she replied shortly before lighting a Capri Menthol cigarette.

Dean frowned and snatched the cigarette out of her hand. "Cass would _never_ smoke." He put the lit cigarette out in the crystal ashtray that was on the booth's table.

"Fine," the girl said with a huff.

"Are you ready to go now?"

'Melania' nodded. "I'm ready if you are," she said, looking Dean in the eyes. "I require cash up front, though."

Dean looked left, then right, hoping—praying—that no one at the club would see _Dean Winchester_ paying off a _shapeshifting_ prostitute. With this in mind, he got out his wallet and handed her the cash under the table.

"Now we're in business," the shifter said as she counted the money. "Shall we go? I mean, after I shapeshift into my natural self. I don't know how it would look if you walked into a hotel with Melania Trump."

"Yeah, that's fine," Dean replied nonchalantly, standing from his seat. "I'll be in the 67' Impala out in the parking lot.

Then without looking back, he walked out the set of double doors. Hopefully nobody had recognized him, although he had seen at _least_ three hunters in the club that he had recognized... One of them had been with 'Katy Perry', receiving a lap dance... Not to mention Max Banes and Brad Pitt... Max seemed _really_ messed-up, from what Dean could tell, but he didn't bother to ask him what was up, and was even happier that Max hadn't spotted him in the club.

He opened the door to his Impala, and sat down in the driver's seat.

He turned on the radio.

 _Hold me baby, drive me crazy, touch me... all night long. Make me love you, kiss and hug you, touch me... all night long._

And again Dean thought of Castiel.

Dean finally opted to turn the radio off.

For a while, he just sat in his vehicle... silent and alone. He couldn't believe he was actually going through with this.

He was insane... that much was sure...

Dean looked up. "Cass," he whispered silently. "If there's any way you can hear me up there, I just... wanted you to know how sorry I am... For... everything..."

The passenger's side door opened before a young woman got inside of the Impala.

Dark brown hair, medium skin tone, blue eyes...

Momentarily, she made Dean wonder if this is what Castiel would look like had he been a girl.

Dean started his car, and exited the strip club's parking lot. He was on his way to the Holiday Inn.

"You don't talk much, do you?" the young woman asked him.

"Actually, I do," Dean replied in a serious voice. "I just don't get any pleasure out of socializing with a damn monster."

"Hey," the shifter smirked, "You're the one who hired me, remember? You haven't even asked me my name."

"I don't want to know your name," Dean said justly, both eyes on the dark road ahead of him. "I don't want this to be any more personal than it has to be."

They arrived at the Holiday Inn.

"So," the young shifter said slowly, "Did you get a nice room?"

Dean shrugged. "I think most of them are all the same, for the most part."

He parked his Impala in the closest spot to the hotel that he could find, turning off the ignition thereafter. He got out of the car and then slammed the door shut.

"You're such a gentleman," the young women said sarcastically. "Thanks for getting the door for me."

"Yeah, well, you'll live." Dean began walking in the hotel's general direction, the young shifter following close behind.

Upon reaching the entrance to the hotel, a set of glass, double doors parted while Dean entered the somewhat lavish building.

He approached the front desk.

"Reservation for Dean Stanton?"

The man behind the desk got onto his computer, looking up Dean's account.

"Yes," the middle-aged man said, and then handed Dean a keycard. Dean then turned his head to look at the shifter. "Well, let's go."

They entered an elevator. Dean pressed the number three as his room was on the third floor, though he seemed just a bit... nervous. He began to have second thoughts on the matter of hiring some random, shapeshifting prostitute to impersonate Castiel...

"You seem a little... anxious," the young shifter stated.

Dean shook his head ever so slightly. "I'm not nervous, I'm just, you know... I've never done anything like this before. Not to mention I'm generally not accustomed to _paying_ for sex..."

"I can see why." She chuckled. "You're fine as hell."

"Thanks," Dean muttered, walking down the hallway until he had reached his room. He slipped his keycard into the slot above the door's handle, and then opened the door, stepping inside.

"I'll go into the bathroom and change into something... a little more comfortable for you..."

Dean sat down on the king-sized bed and opened a bottle of Jack, which he had left in the hotel room earlier for this very occasion.

"I'll need a photograph," the shifter said. "It would help if you had some kind of DNA to work with, too."

"Yeah," Dean agreed, taking a chug from the bottle. "I... sorta kept a lock of his hair..."

"So you were already planning this the day he died?"

"Enough with the twenty questions," Dean said peevishly. From the nightstand, he then removed a copy of the bible... and inside of it was a lock of Castiel's hair...

He handed it to the shifter, along with a photograph of the angel.

"Great," the young shifter replied. "I'll go 'change' in the bathroom and then I'll be right out."

"One more thing," Dean added, before he picked up a bag from the floor. "I want you to... wear these."

The shifter accepted the bag from Dean, taking a look inside. There was a striped, blue tie, a white, button down shirt, black pants, black shoes, and a light brown trench coat.

"Kinky," the woman said to him, taking the bag with her into the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.

While he was waiting, Dean continued to drink from the bottle of Jack Daniels, contemplating the never-ending insanity that was his life.

He had lost everything; everyone. It was as though anyone who was even _remotely_ connected to his life was marked for automatic death.

Dean continued to drink. "Hey," he called out. "Are you about ready yet?"

The bathroom door opened.

"Oh my God," Dean whispered with disbelief.

The shifter looked _identical_ to Castiel.

"Well," the shifter said in Castiel's voice. "Is this what you wanted?"

Dean nodded, his eyes still wide with shock.

The shifter crawled onto the bed, next to Dean. "I've never done this before. I mean, I've never shifted into a guy to have sex as one, so be gentle with me..."

"You look and sound just like him," Dean stated earnestly, caressing the side of the shifter's face with the back of his hand. Then, he pulled the shifter into a kiss...

"Cass," Dean whispered into the kiss. "Oh, Cass... I'm _so_ sorry," he said between kisses. "It's my fault—all my fault—that you died... _**I**_ led _Lucifer_ _**straight**_ to you... If only I had trusted you enough to handle the situation on your own, you would still be alive..."

"I'm sure he'd forgive you," the shifter whispered against Dean's full lips.

"This may sound weird, but," Dean shrugged, "You kiss with too much experience. Cass really didn't have all that much."

"Was he a virgin or something?"

"He had sex one time, but it was with a woman while he was temporarily human."

"Only once?" the shifter chuckled. "I feel sorry for him."

Dean breathed out the words, "Take off your clothes."

The shifter smiled as Castiel. "Wouldn't you rather do the honors?"

"Fine," Dead said, grabbing hold of the trench coat and pulling it down and off of the shifter. Then he went to work on the shifter's tie; pulling it off before he literally ripped open the young shifter's shirt while the shirt's white buttons scattered all about the bed and floor.

Dean took off his green coat and then pulled the white shirt over his own head. Then he went to work on his blue jeans, unbuttoning them before he unzipped them thereafter.

The shifter was on its back, shirt ripped open and a lustful look in both eyes.

Dean went to work on the shifter's pants, pulling them down and off. He looked into the shifter's eyes, which sparkled in the light like sapphires. Castiel had borne the bluest eyes he had ever seen...

Dean removed his jeans, kicking them off fully before he got on top of the shifter.

"Cass," Dean whispered, stroking the side of the shifter's face with one hand, before he went in for another kiss. He grabbed the shifter down below, moving his hand back and forth as he stoked the shifter off.

"Oh," the shifter moaned out. "That feels... really good."

Dean stopped what he was doing, sitting up on his knees before he crawled his way to the adjacent nightstand. He opened the top drawer, briefly eyeing the copy of the bible and then removing what appeared to be a small tube of lubricant.

"Remember," the shifter whispered to Dean. "Gentle."

"I guess this is why Beth recommended you to me." Dean sighed. "I'll try to be gentle, though I'm more into moderately rough sex."

Dean removed the tube of lubricant and shut the nightstand drawer. Then he took a look at the shifter's almost-naked form. It looked like Castiel, it sounded like Castiel... hell, it even _**spoke**_ like Castiel to a certain degree, but...

It wasn't.

No, Castiel was dead.

Castiel was fucking dead.

And it was all Dean's fault.

If only he had _trusted_ Castiel with his mission...

Instead, he had led Lucifer _straight_ to him.

Dean suddenly found himself becoming very, very angry.

"Spread your legs," Dean ordered. "And I want you to act confused, like you don't understand what's happening while I have sex with you."

The shifter gave a slight nod in response and then did as it, well 'he', had been told.

Dean applied a gracious amount of lubricant to the fingers of his right-hand, and then...

"Oh Dean," the shifter moaned as Dean continued to work his fingers.

"Tell me that it wasn't my fault," Dean said sternly while continuing to finger fuck the beautiful form beneath him. "Tell me you want me. Tell me you love me..."

"It wasn't your fault," the shifter moaned out. "Lucifer killed me, not you... I-I want you, Dean Winchester. I love you..."

Dean withdrew his fingers, and then applied some of the lubricant to his hardness. Seeing Castiel naked and full of passion, of lust... it was enough to make any man hard—gay or straight.

Dean however kept telling himself that he was not gay. Castiel was the one and only man he had _ever_ thought of in this way. It was all Cass's fault. If only he hadn't been so damn beautiful...

He took his hardness into hand and aligned it in between the young shifter's cheeks, slowly pushing inside of him while the shifter emitted a very loud moan.

"Cass," Dean moaned likewise, "Oh Cass... I miss you so much... I love you so much..."

"Dean," the shifter whispered, looking into the emerald depths of Dean's eyes.

 _The blade went through his chest._

 _Lucifer smiled. "That was_ _ **fun!**_ _"_

" _ **No!**_ _"_ _Dean screamed out._

"No!" Dean shouted, and then began to move all the faster, thrusting in and out of the figure beneath him.

"That's—that's a little too rough," the shifter posing as Castiel stated.

"Good," Dean hissed, grabbing the shifter from the back of his knees before pushing them down against his chest. "You left me," Dean continued, despondently, "You left me all alone. You said you would never leave me! You said you would always come when I called! But you didn't—not last time. No, you decided you were going to save the world all by yourself!"

"D-Dean," the shifter replied. "You are hurting me."

"Good," Dean said again. "It would be a first for Cass, too."

The shifter tried to push Dean off of him, but Dean was just too strong.

Dean leaned down over the shifter, kissing its full lips. Castiel's lips. Then he began kissing a trail down the shifter's neck, sucking the skin into his mouth. Meanwhile, he took the shifter's hardness back into his right-hand and began to stroke him off again.

"Tell me you love me," Dean repeated quietly. "Tell me."

"I love you Dean! Oh God, I love you!"

"I love you too, Cass," Dean whispered against the shifter's lips. He felt his climax fast approaching, and for a moment—a _sliver_ of time—it was as though he _was_ with the _real_ Castiel.

"Oh Cass..." Dean moaned into the kiss. "Cass... _Cass_... _**Cass**_ _...!_ "

He came into the shifter's ass, thrusting through the aftershocks.

"Please, Dean," the shifter begged him. "I'm not finished yet."

Dean sighed and nodded. He would never leave a woman hanging like that...

He continued to stroke the shifter off, watching Castiel's beautiful form moaning on the bed. It was enough to make Dean want to fuck him all over again.

"I want you to say you love me when you come," Dean said to the shifter as he continued to stroke him off.

"Dean... Dean, I... _I love you!_ "

Dean felt as his hand was filled with warm, sticky semen and felt disgusted with himself all over again. Was he _that_ desperate...? Or just _that_ in love...?

"Wow," the shifter said from the bed, "that was incredible. I mean, I still prefer having sex as a woman, but you are definitely worth the extra effort."

"Yeah whatever," Dean muttered, standing from the bed before he made way to enter the bathroom. He turned the sink on and washed his hands with soap and warm water, and then gathered a white towel from the towel rack and used it to dry both of his hands off.

"I need to use the restroom so I can change back into myself."

"Whatever," Dean said again.

"Or," the shifter began. "I could keep this vessel on... I'm sure there's a lot of guys at the club who would get off to such a _beautiful_ **angel**."

" _ **No**_ ," Dean replied sternly. "That is _out_ of the question. I want that to be something... yeah, just for me."

The shifter stood from the bed, the torn white shirt still on his body. He took it off, leaving the shifter completely naked. He approached Dean from behind, running a hand down the line of his back.

"I really am sorry for your loss," the shifter said in Castiel's voice.

Dean turned around.

" _Personal space, Cass. Personal space."_

Dean leaned down and kissed the shifter again, using more tongue than he had any of the previous times. "Same time tomorrow," he whispered against the shifter's lips.

"Can you afford it?"

"Yes." Dean nodded. "I can."

"Alright," the shifter remarked. "I'll be here at around two AM."

"Good," Dean said before rinsing his mouth out with spearmint flavored Listerine. "You can go now."

"I need to use the bathroom first, Dean," the shifter said, content. "My 'other' clothes are in there."

"Alright," Dean said simply, exiting the bathroom so he could put his own clothes back on. He found his boxer shorts on the hotel floor, pulling them up before putting his blue jeans back on.

When the bathroom door opened, the 19 year old girl whom Dean had seen earlier in the night exited wearing a short black dress and her dark hair in a ponytail.

"Do you need a ride back?" Dean asked her.

She shook her head. "No, that's alright. I'll just catch a cab."

Dean couldn't help it, and blurted out the words, "I'll pay you five grand tomorrow if you'll blow me and then have rough, hard sex."

"Mmm." She thought about it. "Alright. You still want me in 'Castiel's' vessel?"

Dean nodded his head. "Yes."

"Okay." The shifter headed for the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Alright." Dean nodded again. The door opened, and the shifter exited the room.

Dean wanted to take a shower, but first, he needed to check his phone. Surely Sam had called him a _least_ a dozen times...

He took the phone off of silent mode, and then checked the caller I.D.

Surely enough, Sam had called four times.

Dean rolled his green eyes and brought the cellphone to his right-ear.

 _Ring._

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

 _Pick up._

"Dean?"

"Yeah Sammy. What's up?"

"It's after four in the morning. _That's_ what's up."

"I'm 38 years old, Sam. I think I can handle myself."

Sam frowned into the phone. "I went to check out that 'club' of yours, and I know now what's going on there."

 _Shit,_ Dean thought, although he had to admit to himself that his brother would have found out sooner or later.

Sam forced a sarcastic laugh. "So... I hear you left with 'Melania Trump'?

"That's none of your business," Dean answered swiftly. "C'mon, don't tell me you wouldn't get it on with a shapeshifter who could impersonate the girl of your dreams."

"I would never do that," Sam replied with a huff. "Dean, these are still _shifters_ we're talking about. We're supposed to _hunt_ them, _not_ sleep with them."

"Like I said, Sammy," Dean continued, testily, "It's really none of your business."

"But Melania Trump?"

"Well, yeah... I've, uh, always had a thing for her, I guess..."

"You're lying, Dean. I can tell."

"I'm not lying," Dean spat, his grip on the phone tightening. "I had sex with Melania Trump and I'm not ashamed of it!"

"Geez," Sam muttered, scratching the back of his head. "When I entered the club, 'Lady Gaga' offered me a lap dance before 'Rhianna' followed me into the men's room and offered me sex free of charge."

"Did you see anyone you recognized there?"

Sam sighed out the words, "Yes I did. They told me they had seen you there earlier with 'Melania' and that you left with her. She, well... 'it' hadn't gotten back yet, so everyone assumed you were paying her for sex..."

Dean frowned. "I never pay. You know that."

"Oh really?" Sam smirked. "Then why does your debit card have a recent withdrawal of three thousand dollars?"

"Damnit, Sam," Dean cursed. Sam really _did_ need to mind his own business. "It's my money, so I have a right to spend it as I please."

"But seriously, Dean? A hooker?" Sam shook his head. "A shapeshifting hooker to boot? Have you _completely_ lost your mind?"

"Yes," Dean sighed. "I have."

"This is the exact same thing you did shortly after selling your soul," Sam muttered into his cellular phone. "All you wanted to do was drink alcohol and have sex."

"And your point is?"

Sam exhaled. "This is about Cass, isn't it?"

"No," Dean said quickly. "It's not. Anyway, I'm going to hit the hay."

"You mean you're not coming back to the bunker?"

"I'll be back in a couple of days. Don't worry about me. I've got everything under control."

"God, Dean," Sam replied in an unhappy tone of voice. "Hookers? Shapeshifting hookers? Any one of them could be _some_ _ **thing**_ that has it in for you. You could have a knife in your back before you know it."

Annoyed, Dean picked up the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels and took a swig. "Privacy, Sam. Privacy."

"You know," Sam began in response. "It doesn't matter how many hookers you have sex with, how much alcohol you drink, or how self-destructive you become. Our mom's _still_ gone and Cass is _still_ dead. Believe me—I know what it's like. I was the same way after you went to hell."

"I know that, Sam," Dean replied wholeheartedly. "But I just... need some time alone... you know?"

"Fine, Dean." Sam sighed loudly. "Just promise me you'll be back by tomorrow morning, at least."

"Alright," Dean agreed. "I'll see you then, okay?"

"Okay, Dean..."

 _Hang up_.

 **000**

The next day, Dean Winchester stared at the wooden cross on the side of the road.

"Cass," Dean began, looking down at the angel's gravesite, "I-I'm sorry I couldn't save you... so sorry... Hell, I even tried to sell my soul all over again to bring you back, but not even the crossroad demons will deal. They say they're happy with you dead and that my soul isn't worth enough to bring you back to life."

"Not to mention," Dean continued, "Crowley's dead, too, Rowena... and my mom, well... Lucifer's probably killed her, and as for his Nephilim spawn, Jack Kline... he's in the wind, though we continue to track him whenever and wherever bizarre happenings occur..."

"I wish you were here," Dean said sincerely, a single tear running down his face. Dean wiped it away. "I drove for hours just to get here, to pay my respects again... I can't let Sam see me like this. I can't let him know how much I... well, you know..." He knelt down and placed a single, white rose on the grave, of where Castiel's hunter's funeral had taken place.

There was nothing Dean could do.

 _Nothing_.

"Rest in peace, Cass," he whispered after placing the rose on the gravesite. "Rest in peace..."

 **000**

Back at the club, Dean continued to drink away his sorrows as he watched the strippers dance. Currently, 'Beyonce Knowles' had the main stage. The hunters in the club seemed to really get off on her—not that he could blame them. She had one of the nicest assess he'd ever seen.

 _I mention you when I say my prayers, I wrap you around all of my thoughts boy, you're my temporary high. I wish that when I wake up you're there to wrap your arms around me for real and tell me you'll stay by my side  
_

 _Clouds filled with stars cover the skies, and I hope it rains. You're the perfect lullaby. What kind of dream is this?_

"Hey, Dean. Back again, I see."

Dean looked up at the waitress, Beth.

"Do you want your usual?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, can I get two whiskeys straight up and two shots of tequila?"

"Damn, Dean," Beth replied, shaking her head at him, though she was smiling all the same. "You're going to be smashed by six o' clock."

"Yep, that's the plan."

"You know I can't give you back your keys if you hammered, right? We'd get into trouble for something like that."

Dean did not give a damn. "I'll just have the shifter drive me back to the hotel."

"Well, alright," Beth said with a shrug. "Works for me." She thought back to the previous night. "Hey, how did things work out with the shifter you took with you last night?"

"Fine," Dean said simply. "She didn't, uh... mention anything about last night to anyone, did she...?"

Beth shook her head. "No, she didn't."

Dean breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank God for that at least."

"You have some pretty kinky fantasies you don't want out in the open?"

"Exactly."

And then, 'Brittany Spears' sat down next to him.

"Hey green eyes," she whispered into his ear. "Remember me?"

Dean blinked at her. "Uh... should I?"

She smiled at him. "Buy me a drink?"

"Fine," Dean sighed. At this rate his tab was going to run higher than the money he'd be spending for the Cass-impersonating hooker.

"What's your pleasure?" he asked her.

She continued to smile. "Grey Goose and tonic."

Shit. It was her. It just had to be her.

While the waitress went off to gather their drinks, the shifter (as Brittany Spears) kissed the side of Dean's neck, moving one of her hands down south, in between Dean's legs.

Dean grabbed her hand. "I told you," he said sternly. "I don't like it when you do that."

She sighed at him. "Why? Because I'm not your _precious_ _little_ _ **angel?**_ "

He grabbed her by the throat. "Listen. You ever tell anyone and I mean _anyone_ about that, and I _will_ kill you, no questions asked. I will torture you with silver, cut and stab you over and over again until you _beg_ for death, do you understand?"

"Relax, Dean," she replied, Dean's hand still around her throat. "What goes on outside of the club stays outside of the club."

"Hey, if it isn't the man himself!"

Dean released the young shifter's throat and looked up to see none other than Walt...

 _Damnit_ , Dean thought.

"I didn't expect to you around these parts," Walt said, beer in hand as he took a seat in the booth next to Dean.

Dean did not want Walt there, and honestly wasn't up for conversation.

Nonetheless, he asked, "What are you doing here, Walt?"

Walt laughed out loud. "Do you really have to ask? Where else am I gonna find a Jennifer Lawrence lookalike? Damn, I really love that movie _The Hunger Games_. It reminds me of hunting bad guys in real life."

"Dude, you are trashed," Dean said to Walt. "How long have you been here?"

"Since noon."

Dean looked down at his watch. "It's half past three now."

"Yeah, I know," Walt replied, laughing. "But Jennifer and I have a little something lined up for later, if you know what I mean, so, yeah, I won't be driving. They take my keys every time I come here, every time."

Dean shook his head. _This_ was the guy who had _killed_ **him?** Damn, Dean must've been _really_ off of his game, and Heaven had turned out to be a _real_ bust. They had even given Bobby a freggin' rocking chair upstairs, which he had specifically declined.

"Say Dean," Walt said after having taken another sip of his Corona beer. "I know I already told you this at Jody's, but... I'm really sorry for killing you."

"Neh." Dean shrugged. "You did what you thought you had to do at the time, I guess."

"I miss my pal Roy, too," Walt said quietly.

"Hey," Dean began, taking another swig of whiskey. "Roy saved my brother's life, so that definitely counts for something."

"You think he's in Heaven?"

Dean shrugged again. "If I had to guess, I'd say so."

"What's it like up there?"

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes. "It's _crap_ , that's what it is. All you do is relive your glory days over and over again for eternity." He smirked again. "Paradise my ass. The one good thing I can recall about it is that in Heaven, there are no hangovers."

"Cheers to that, at least," Walt said, clicking his beer bottle against Dean's glass of whiskey, as though proposing a toast.

"So," the shifter who had impersonated Castiel the night before began. "Who's your friend?"

"Hey," Walt raised a hand and pointed his finger at her, "You're Brittany Spears, aren't you? Dean, Dean, Dean... never knew you had a type."

"Oh he has a type, alright," she said with a smile, before Dean shot her a threatening look.

"Oh, that reminds me," Walt said, smiling, "I saw Sam here last night. He was asking questions about where you were and who you left with. I told him I saw you leave with Melania Trump." He laughed out loud.

"Funny," Dean said sarcastically through his teeth. Then he took a shot of imported tequila and chased it with whiskey.

"Bet you wish you were Heaven right now," Walt said, smiling still. "You're going to have one _hell_ of a hangover tomorrow."

Already feeling the effects of the alcohol, Dean said, "Fuck off."

"Touch-y," Walt replied, taking another drink from his beer. When the waitress returned to check on them, Walt said, "Shots all around, Jose Cuervo Black."

"You got it," Beth replied. "Just make sure you don't drink up too quickly this time, alright? You were practically having sex in the VIP room last night when you know that's only for lap dances."

"But it was _Jennifer Lawrence!_ Who could say no to _that_ ," Walt said happily.

"Well at least you're a happy drunk," Dean muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"And what kind of drunk are you?" the shifter sitting next to him asked.

Quickly and without thought, Dean replied, "A horny drunk." He blinked consecutively. "...did I just say that out loud?"

Walt fell into another fit of unrestrained laughter. "Yeah, you did, buddy."

And then, to make matters worse...

"Hey, look whose here!" Walt gestured to the doorway.

"Shit," Dean whispered to himself. As if things couldn't get any worse, they had. Dean didn't know why his luck would've been any different, but of course Sam Winchester had to show up...

"I'm... gonna go," Dean said to Walt upon having taken another shot. "Uh, 'Britney? We still on for tonight?"

"Of course, sugar," she purred into his ear.

Walt made another toast. "Now that's what I'm talking about. Hit that baby one more time, Dean!"

Dean stood and then snuck out the back door, before Sam could see him.

But, shit... he had left all of his weapons at the front. That was part of the deal there—no weapons of any kind were allowed in the club. Not even a pocket knife.

Dean stumbled around the building, having a hard time keeping his footing. He felt sick, like he was going to vomit. Too much alcohol, he knew, but he had been worse...

Record scratch.

Okay... maybe he hadn't been worse. Sam was worried that Dean was becoming an alcoholic, but ever since the loss of his mother and Cass, Dean really had gone off the deep end.

Oh well, he told himself. It's not as though he was drinking demon blood or whoring himself out to some demon whore. Sam had been a drunk, too, for many months while Dean was in hell.

" _Who_ _ **are**_ _you?"_

" _I am the one who grabbed you tight and raised you from perdition."_

 _A flash of light filled the barn, and Dean saw the shadow of Castiel's beautiful, angelic wings spread far and wide behind him._

Dean stumbled again, walking around the club until he had reached the entrance.

He entered the club, and asked the woman behind the desk for his weapons back, one of which was Ruby's knife.

"Thanks," Dean said, reaching for his keys.

"Not so fast there, cowboy," the young blonde said, dangling Dean's keys in midair. "Beth left specific instructions regarding your driving."

"I'm not drunk," Dean replied, sounding, well... drunk.

"Don't worry, I got this one," none other than Sam Winchester stated.

"Alright," the young woman replied, handing the keys to Dean's Impala over to Sam.

"Damnit, Sammy," Dean cursed him as they stepped outside of the club. "Why did you have to follow me here, a-gain?"

"So you wouldn't do anything stupid, like, I don't know, drive under the influence?" Sam smirked at him. "What, you want to go back to prison again _that_ badly?"

"No," Dean huffed, placing Ruby's knife back into the holder on his jeans. "I just... I..."

"Killing yourself _won't_ bring Cass back, goddamnit!"

Dean took a swing at Sam and hit his brother square in the jaw.

Sam turned his head, spitting out a considerable amount of blood.

"Damn, Sam, I'm..." Dean exhaled a deep breath. "I'm sorry. This whole thing with Mom and Cass and Lucifer's demon child, I just... it's too much for me to handle."

"I'll take you back to the bunker where you can sober up," Sam said to him.

Dean shook his head. "I have another... appointment tonight at two AM."

"With what? Some shapeshifting hooker?"

"Yes," Dean replied sincerely. "Just take me by the Holiday Inn up the road and I promise I'll be back by dawn."

"So you can drink some more?" Sam raised an eyebrow. "You're going to be having the DT's before you know it."

"What, because you did while I was in hell?"

"You know what?" Sam said, anger in his voice. "Fuck you, Dean. This has nothing to do with me, and I'm tired of being your damn babysitter. So, fine. I'll drop you off at the hotel, but I'm taking the car with me. I'll pick you up in the morning after you've had sex with another trashy stripper. Who did the last one impersonate for you? Ginger from Gilligan's Island?"

"No, that was last week," Dean answered truthfully.

"You know what?" Sam said, angry still. "Fuck it. I don't want to know."

"Good," Dean said as he stumbled his way to the Impala, getting into the passenger's side seat while Sam got into the driver's seat.

"I don't think you should come back to this place again," Sam stated under his breath. "It's nothing but trouble, and you smell like a mixture of Jack and cigarettes."

"Whatever," Dean said nonchalantly, uncaring when it came to anything Sam had to say to him right now.

"It's only around four o' clock," Sam said as he drove to the Holiday Inn. "What are you going to do until two in the morning?"

"Drink some more, pass out, and then wake up when the shifter arrives."

"Sounds like a solid plan," Sam remarked with ultimate disapproval.

They reached the Holiday Inn and Sam pulled in to the front of the building.

"Be careful, Dean," Sam warned him. "You could still be arrested for public intoxication."

"I have my keycard right,"—he removed the keycard from his wallet—"here. Don't worry about me, Sammy. I'm going to be just fine."

"Well, okay..." Sam said, in spite of the fact that he was worried about leaving Dean to his vices, not to mention a shapeshifter... Any one of them could knife Dean in the chest without giving it a second thought.

"Be careful," Sam added in the form of a whisper.

"I will be," Dean said as he stepped outside of the car and made way to enter the hotel. He was still stumbling ever so slightly, but it wasn't as if the person behind the check-in counter was going to say anything to him. They probably had drunks in there all of the time.

Dean approached the elevator; the double doors closing in front of him once he was inside, while Dean hit the button for the third floor.

The elevator doors parted, and then Dean walked in the general direction of his hotel room. He got out the card and placed it into the door's slot, opening the door fully before stepping inside.

Dean instantly sat down in a beige chair and began to drink.

When he felt like he couldn't drink anymore, he got into bed, having set his alarm for two o' clock sharp.

"Cass," Dean whispered to himself. "Oh Cass... I love you..."

And then he passed out on the center of the king-sized bed, a bottle of unopened Jack Daniels in his left-hand.

 **000**

He awoke.

"Where am I?" he whispered to himself.

"Oh my God," the man said with a detectable amount of horror in his voice. "I was cremated..."

"I was _dead_ ," none other than Castiel said silently, looking at his right, clenched fist. "How... how is it I'm back alive?"

"Ssh," the figure in front of Castiel whispered.

Castiel's brow furrowed. "Jack... is that... you?"

Jack nodded, although he didn't seem up for talking. It was well after midnight now—somewhere around one thirty AM—and Castiel looked into Jack's eyes which were glowing in the dark, a golden shade of amber. He didn't look like a little boy, either. No, he appeared to be a teenager.

"Why did you bring me back, and how?"

Jack smiled at Castiel, placing his index finger to his lips before whispering, "Shh," again.

Finally, Jack spoke, "I know what you are and what it is you want. I can read your mind."

"That's comforting," Castiel sighed, none too thrilled.

"My biological father stabbed you the chest with an angel blade, did he not? What's the last thing you remember?"

"I... I remember Dean screaming out a loud "No!" before I fell to the ground, dead...

"Dean's not doing too well at the moment," Jack said idly. "I've been... 'watching' over he and Sam, in the same way that you used to. I'm afraid Dean's drinking has gotten way out of hand... He's overwhelmed by your passing, and blames himself for your death."

"But that _wasn't_ his fault," Castel said, brushing off his clothes in order to help get some of the dirt off. " _ **I**_ was the one stupid enough to go after Lucifer all by myself... I... I should have _known_ better..."

"You did that for me. Come, Father," Jack said, extending a hand to the angel. "I'll take you to Dean."

Uneasily, Castiel took Jack's hand before they teleported into some sort of long hallway with red carpet.

"I don't understand," Castiel said with utmost curiosity. "What is Dean doing in this place to begin with?"

"Believe me," Jack remarked. "You don't want to know." He pointed to the door, room number 313. "Just remember, whatever happens, that I did this _for_ **you**. I'll _always_ keep you safe, Castiel, the way you kept me safe. As sure as I live and breathe, nothing and no one will ever come to harm you."

Jack smiled a relatively dark smile of the sorts, and yet there was still a hint of kindness sealed within. "You knock on the door while I take care of a certain someone, or should I say _something_..."

Castiel turned away from the door, instantaneously noting that Jack was no longer to be seen.

 _Take care of someone, something_ , Castiel thought. _I don't like the sound of that._

He swallowed, and then began knocking on the hotel door.

And when Dean opened it, Castiel was so happy to see him that he wanted to fall to his knees, just as Dean had done for him.

Castiel smiled softly at him. "Hello, Dean..."

"You're late," Dean said, while Castiel closed the door behind him.

Castiel's brow furrowed. "You mean you've been expecting me?"

"Of course I have," Dean said, closing the space between Castiel and himself. And then suddenly, Dean leaned down and kissed the angel, having no idea that he was kissing the _real_ Castiel and _not_ some shifter.

Castiel pulled away. "Dean, w-what are you d-doing?!" he exclaimed in a mixture of surprise and utmost shock.

"I'm kissing you, 'Cass'," Dean replied, and then went in for another kiss, his right-hand cupping the side of Castiel's face while Dean continued to kiss him. He stuck his tongue into Castiel's mouth, seizing absolute control of the kiss.

"Dean," Castiel murmured as he once again pulled away from Dean. "Why... why are you doing this?"

"Because I love you," Dean whispered, grabbing Castiel by the lapels as he pulled the angel toward an adjacent wall. He shoved Castiel face first into the wall, nearest to the nightstand. Dean removed the same tube of lubricant he had used the night before, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans thereafter. After this was achieved, Dean reached both hands around Castiel's front to undo the angel's belt and pants... pulling the black slacks down until he could see Castiel's ass.

"I can't wait one more minute to fuck you," Dean said, lustfully.

"You want to do _what_ to me?!" Castiel said, sounding shocked and confused.

And then, Dean whet a set of fingers with the lubricant and shoved them into Castiel from behind.

"Oh, _God_ ," Castiel moaned loudly. "Dean... I-I feel... strange... What's-What's happening to me...?"

"Props to you, shifter. You actually sound _just_ like the real Cass would during sex with me."

"What?" Castiel said, confused still more. Before he could ask Dean what the _hell_ he had been talking about, however, his body froze up the second Dean entered him from behind...

" _Dean...!_ " Castiel gasped, before Dean began to fuck him upright and against the wall, hard.

"You left me alone," Dean said as he continued to thrust into the angel. "You said you would _never_ leave me! You said you would _always_ come when I called! You said you would _die_ for me, and so you _did!_ I _never_ wanted that!"

" _Dean_ ," Castiel moaned again. "Please, it _hurts!_ You've _got_ to stop this. This-This isn't right! Why would _you_ do something so _cruel_ to me?!"

Dean suddenly withdrew his hard cock from Castiel's opening, and then threw Castiel down to the king-sized mattress.

"Take your fucking clothes off, 'Cass'."

"No, I-I don't want to... What you just _did_ to me... it hurt, a _lot_. God, Dean, you are scaring me with this..."

"Fine," Dean huffed, his eyes full of lust. "I'll just have to do what I did last night and take off your clothes _for_ you."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "Last night? But I wasn't—"

"Shut up," Dean said sternly, removing Castiel's shoes before pulling off Castiel's pants. And go figure, Cass was hard.

"It seems like your body has a different opinion," Dean said with a dark chuckle. "Now sit up so I can get that coat off of you."

" _No_ ," Castiel argued. "I don't know what the _hell's_ gotten into you, but I _don't_ like it... The Dean _I_ knew would _never_ hurt or violate me like this..."

When Dean made a play for Castiel's coat, Castiel punched Dean square in the jaw as hard as he could, busting Dean's lower lip in the process. He waved his hand in an attempt to throw Dean off of him, but... nothing happened.

They were gone.

His powers were gone.

Angry at whom he thought to be a shifter, Dean backhanded Castiel across the face with his right-hand with an unnecessary amount of force. Then he did it again, and again.

"Whore," Dean spat. "That's not part of what I'm paying for."

Dean was finally able to get the beige coat off of the angel (though Castiel had put up quite the fight) before he ripped open the white, button down shirt, the same way he had done to the shifter the night before.

Dean then pulled down his blue jeans—his boxers along with them—stepping out of them before kicking his jeans aside.

Castiel swallowed, deeply. "Dean, I... what is this? Why? _Why_ are you doing this to me? You're actually trying to engage in _sexual_ _intercourse_ with **me** , an _angel_ of all things? Don't you understand the consequences? That if word of this got to Heaven that certain angels wouldn't hesitate to kill the both of us?" He gave Dean a pleading look. "We can't do this. _Please_ , Dean, I am _begging_ you not to do this to me..."

"You're one hell of an actor," Dean praised. "I've got to hand it to you. And as for why? It's because I _love_ you," he repeated wholeheartedly. "Even if this were real, I wouldn't _care_ about the damn consequences. I only care about _us_." Naked, he sat down on the bed next to Castiel (whom Dean still thought of as a shifter). And yet, something seemed different about him from the night before.

"Suck me off," Dean said to him, running his fingers lovingly through Castiel's dark hair.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means you put my dick in your mouth and suck," Dean replied in all seriousness. "Damn, I am _loving_ this whole innocence act but you don't need to get _that_ carried away. Everyone knows what a blowjob is."

Castiel averted his eyes away from Dean. "...what's a blowjob?" he asked him, his face flushing a slight shade of red.

Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of Castiel's head by his hair, forcing the angel's face downwards into his lap.

"Now all you gotta do is suck," Dean stated. "No teeth, though. Guys hate that."

"But Dean, I..."

"Just _do it_."

Finally, Castiel did as he had been instructed to do. He opened his mouth, and began sucking Dean off...

"Hey, watch the teeth, remember?"

Castiel had no idea what the _hell_ he was doing. He could feel Dean's hands in his hair, forcing him to deep-throat Dean. It wasn't as easy as it sounded; Castiel had a horrible gag reflex, probably due to his complete and utter lack of experience where such matters were concerned.

"Oh, Cass," Dean moaned nevertheless, his hands still in his angel's hair, pushing Castiel's head down. "How I've dreamed of you sucking me off, you have no idea. You really do have a velvet throat."

The angel wanted it all to end so badly, but he couldn't bring himself to smite Dean in any way, even if he could. No, he would never hurt Dean Winchester like that.

Castiel gagged again, before Dean released his grip on Castiel's hair and allowed him to take a deep breath and sit back up.

Dean raised an eyebrow at him. "There's... something different about you tonight, but I can't quite put my finger on it. I know I said I wanted someone without much experience, but you really _are_ acting like a virgin."

Dean grabbed Castiel by the tie and pulled him in for another kiss. That was another thing. The night before when he had kissed the shifter, they had seemed like a rather skilled kisser. This shifter was different. They acted like they hadn't kissed anyone in years, if ever.

"Dean," Castiel moaned into the kiss. "We really _shouldn't_ be doing this..."

"I don't care," Dean replied, his lips a mere inch away from Castiel's. "I want you."

Castiel swallowed again. "I-I don't know how I feel about any of this. I'm... scared of it, Dean... I'm scared of you right now, and I'm... scaring myself. Something's happening to my body that I don't understand..."

"There's no reason to be scared, Cass. It's just sex, that's all, and as for how you're feeling, well... to put it bluntly, you're in heat."

"Now lie down," Dean said, spreading Castiel's legs before him. "God, you look so sexy like this. I wish you could see yourself."

Dean lifted up Castiel's legs on either side of him, positioned himself, and then pushed inside of the angel all over again.

Dean started out slowly enough, but it wasn't long before he had picked up the pace.

Castiel gripped tightly at the cover, his mouth open and his eyes closed.

"Look at me, Cass," Dean demanded, once again running his fingers through Castiel's dark fringe of hair. "Tell me you love me."

"I _do_ love you, Dean," Castiel moaned, wrapping both legs around Dean's waist. "I've _always_ loved you since the first time I saw you, since the first time I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition."

"Everybody knows about that," Dean said as he continued to take the man beneath him. Then he flipped them over, so that Castiel was now on top. Dean grabbed both of the angel's wrists and held them down on either side of him, in order to keep Castiel from touching himself and hence coming without him.

Castiel's head fell back and he moaned, loudly. Thank God Dean had put a 'don't disturb' sign on the door.

"Now move," Dean said, still holding Castiel's hands down by the wrists. "You know the drill."

Hesitantly, Castiel began to move. It still hurt—a lot—but from what he did know about sex (which was not that much, especially when it came to gay sex), it only hurt at first, and then felt much better later on.

Eventually, it did start to feel better for Castiel. Not only better, but really, really good. Great, even. He began riding Dean faster, harder, wanting nothing more than a blissful release.

"Oh, Dean," Castiel whispered, struggling to free his hands from Dean's grasp on his wrists. He wanted—needed—to touch himself. "Please," he begged silently, "Ah, free my hands. I _can't_ take it anymore..."

"I said you're not coming without me," Dean replied, his grip on Castiel's wrists tightening.

Castiel continued to ride Dean, his body moving up and down, up and down... Dean saw the single tear that ran down Castiel's cheek as if it were a bead of sweat, his dark hair mussed and his sapphire blue eyes sparkling in the dim light.

Dean didn't think he had ever seen anything so beautiful in his entire life.

If only it could've been the real Cass as opposed to some random shifter.

Dean felt his climax fast approaching. The shifter was tight, so very tight... the tightest piece of ass he had ever had. He released Castiel's wrists, before he began stroking the angel off on his own.

"Dean, ah, oh God," Castiel moaned out. "Oh Dean, I... something's happening to my body, something I've never felt before, even when I was human with April..."

Dean blinked at him. "Wait, I... no one knows about you and... _Oh my God_."

Castiel's blue eyes lit up with angel fire—a bright, white light—when he came, before a flash of light filled the room. That was when Dean saw them.

That was when Dean saw the shadow of Castiel's wings on the wall.

Dean was close, too, so close... he just couldn't help it. He came, too.

"Cass," Dean whispered once he had finished, "Is that _really_ you in there...?" he asked with tears in his eyes.

Castiel nodded to a barely noticeable extent. "Yes, Dean," he replied, spent and breathing heavily. "It's me... Who else would I have been?"

"The shapeshifter from the club."

"Wait. You've been paying _shapeshifters_ to impersonate _me_ during sex?"

"Yes," Dean whispered, ashamed. "But you... _how_ did you come back?"

"Jack helped to bring me back from a horrible place where this... nothingness had me and tortured me... Jack told me you were in trouble..."

"Jack as in _Lucifer's_ Jack?"

Castiel nodded again. "Yes."

"And you just let him get away?"

"He's not evil, Dean," Castiel said, moving his hips upwards until Dean was no longer inside of him.

That was when Dean noticed the blood...

"Oh, Cass, I..." Dean didn't know what to say. "I'm _so_ sorry, I shouldn't have been so rough with you... It's just... I mean, I thought you were a shifter..."

Castiel shook his head. "No. Sorry to disappoint you."

"Disappoint me?" Dean smiled and pulled the angel down into his arms so that Castiel's head was against his chest. "That was _the_ best sex of my _life_."

"Please, Dean," Castiel whispered, wiping the tears away from Dean's face with one hand while running the other back through Dean's hair. "Please don't cry..."

"I can't help it," Dean replied as tears continued to streak down his face. "It's you, it's _really_ you... I thought... I thought you were gone for good this time..." Dean placed a soft kiss on Castiel's hair.

"You remember what I told you, right? That this is forbidden by Heaven," Castiel whispered to him. "An angel must never lie with a human..."

"Why? I can't imagine the two of us having a Nephilim."

"It's still forbidden. If Heaven caught wind of this, I would be caged and tortured until I begged to die... If you think being tortured in hell was bad, in Heaven it's much worse..."

"I'll never let anything happen to you ever again," Dean said softly, and then kissed Castiel's hair again.

"Huh." Castiel rubbed his hand along Dean's chest. "We're all sticky. Obviously from my, what do you call it? Ejaculation?"

"Well," Dean began. "That's what showers are for."

"I don't need to take showers," Castiel replied honestly.

Dean smiled at him. "So, you... wouldn't want to take a shower with me?"

"Well... as long as you don't plan on pushing me face first into the wall again... I really didn't like that, Dean... You really hurt me when you did that..."

"I'm _so_ sorry I hurt you, Cass," Dean said honestly. "God, I made you _bleed_. I _never_ would have done that to you had I known. And, hell, I practically _forced_ you _against_ your will. How... how can you even _think_ to forgive me for doing something so horrible like that to you...?"

Castiel smiled at him. "Oh, Dean. I already have."

Dean pulled Castiel in for another kiss, slower and sweeter than the ones before.

"I love you," Dean whispered against Castiel's full lips.

"I love you too, Dean," Castiel whispered back.

"But...?"

Castiel exhaled a sigh. "I... don't think this is something we can or should continue..."

"Why not?" Dean asked him. "Because of a bunch of stuck up, crazy half-assed angels in Heaven?"

"It's not just that, Dean," Castiel murmured back. "It's because I am still an angel of the Lord. I wasn't... built for this. This... this is still only a vessel... it's not the real me."

"It's the you I know," Dean said softly. "That's all that matters to me. Besides... God Himself said that he had boyfriends before."

Castiel's brow furrowed. "Well that's... interesting to know, I suppose."

"Metatron told me," Dean said, and then laughed a little.

"Now there's a reliable source."

"Yeah." Dean laughed again. "God is bi. That's a new one."

Castiel's smile faded, and then he averted his eyes.

"What are you thinking about?" Dean asked him.

Castiel replied, "I was thinking that I wish I could put you to sleep and then wipe your memory of this ever having happened."

"No," Dean said sternly, grasping Castiel's wrists to keep the angel from making an attempt to touch his forehead. "No, absolutely not. I don't want to forget. You mean too much to me. _Please_ , Cass, just... give us a chance. That's all I'm asking for..."

"Are you _really_ ready to risk losing _everything_ for me? God, I don't even have my powers anymore..."

Dean nodded his head. "I don't care whether or not you have powers anymore... As I've said before... I would _die_ for you. I know you won't like hearing this, but... after you died, and after I lost my mother, I went to the crossroads and tried to sell my soul all over again in order to once again bring back the life of someone I loved—you. Damn, I was gonna have to make out with a freggin' demon _guy_." He shuddered. "But he said there was nothing that even he could do because he didn't have the juice to raise an angel slain by Lucifer, plus my soul was already tainted—used goods from when I'd sold it before."

"I'm glad you didn't manage to sell your soul, Dean," Castiel whispered gratefully. "But still, what comes now? How can we—a human and an angel—possibly hope to make something like this work? As you know, I've seen it a number of times before, and... it always ends in death..."

"We can worry about that later," Dean said, releasing Castiel's wrists from his grasp before stroking the side of the angel's face with his hand. "Right about now, I'd feel like a shower."

"You mean with me?" Castiel asked him.

"Of course," Dean said, and then kissed Castiel once again. Castiel kissed him back wholeheartedly, running his hands down Dean's chest.

"You're getting better." Dean smiled.

"What?"

"You're getting better at kissing."

Castiel smiled at Dean. "Well, I have a good teacher."

Dean slowly sat up, Castiel with him. Afterwards, Dean got out of bed and walked his way into the bathroom before turning on the shower, making sure the water was hot enough. Shortly thereafter, Castiel got out of the bed and walked into the bathroom too.

Dean got into the shower first, sighing with pleasure as the hot water hit his skin.

Castiel had taken showers before, back during his brief stint as a human... he remembered he had liked them.

So without another thought, he stepped into the shower with Dean.

"Ahh," Castiel sighed contently, "I'd forgotten how good it feels to take a shower." He chuckled. "Not as good as television, but still good."

And then, Dean pulled Castiel into a kiss. The angel succumbed, kissing Dean back passionately.

Dean pulled away ever so slightly. "You really are getting better at this," he said before he went back to kissing Castiel.

"Like I said, I have a good teacher," Castiel said in between ardent kisses.

Swiftly, Dean said, "Stroke me off," before he went on the say, "I promise I'll make it up to you later..."

Castiel appeared confused. "Stroke you off? What does that mean?"

Dean sighed at him. "It means you grab my dick and work your hand up and down it."

"Oh," Castiel whispered, doing as he had been instructed to do. With his right-hand, he grabbed a hold of Dean's growing hardness and began moving his hand back and forth.

"Cass," Dean moaned, his head tilting back into the hot spray of water. He kissed the angel again, hot and heavy, wrapping both arms around Castiel as he continued to kiss him.

"Dean," Castiel said while he continued to work his hand up a down Dean's hardness. "Am I doing okay? I mean, am I succeeding in giving you pleasure?"

"Yes, you are," Dean whispered against Castiel's lips, and then went in for another kiss. "I'm so happy," he said silently. "So happy that you're alive. I don't think I could've gone one more day without you... the flashbacks were so damn bad... the nightmares... all I could see was Lucifer stabbing you through the chest with his angel blade over and over again..."

"That wasn't your fault, Dean," Castiel replied modestly. "It was mine. I should've known better than to try and play hero by going after Lucifer."

"But if I hadn't gone after you, then Lucifer wouldn't have been able to—"

"Dean," Castiel said, cupping Dean's face in his hands while he looked up into Dean's emerald green eyes. "It wasn't your fault."

"So you say," Dean whispered, grabbing one of Castiel's hands before he kissed its palm.

Castiel went back to stroking Dean off, suddenly realizing that he himself was getting hard again, too...

Dean looked down. "I promise I'll take care of that when we get out of the shower," he said, smiling ever so slightly.

"Well in that case," Castiel said, tilting his head back before he went in for another kiss. "Can we get out of the shower now?"

Dean couldn't help it. He laughed out loud.

That was his angel.

And Dean would do anything—anything—for him. Especially now that he knew what it was like to believe that Cass was truly dead. Everything they'd been through together... Demons, angels, the Leviathan, purgatory, alternate universes... even Heaven and hell. The list went on and on.

Dean wanted to murder Lucifer.

And somehow... he was going to find a way.

"Oh, Cass," Dean continued to moan, until just like that, he came all over Castiel's stomach.

"I'm sorry, Cass," Dean apologized. "My head was somewhere else for a while."

"You don't need to apologize, Dean," Castiel said softly. "It's nothing that a good loofa won't fix up."

Dean nodded and sighed out the words, "Okay, then."

Then he got out of the shower and wrapped a white towel around his waist, briefly stopping to look into the mirror. It was the first time he had recognized the reflection staring back at him in some time.

The water turned off.

Dean smiled and went into the bed room, astonished when he saw that Castiel was actually putting his clothes on _manually_. Usually Castiel would have been able to get all cleaned up and into his clothes with merely a thought.

"I'm... sorry about your powers, Cass," Dean said sincerely. "But you're back. I don't care about your powers. I only care about _you_ , about _us_."

Castiel just stood there, blinking at Dean. "You said you were going to 'take care of me'. What is it you meant by that?"

With nothing but his towel on, Dean approached Castiel and pushed him down to the bed. He took off Castiel's belt and then unzipped his pants.

"I've... never done this before, so forgive me if I suck at it."

"Suck at... oh, Dean!" Castiel moaned loudly as Dean began to suck him off. "Dean...! It feels so... so good..."

In all honesty, Dean was just as in the dark about this as Castiel had been. He felt very, very gay and then some, but he kept telling himself that Cass was the only guy he would ever do this with.

Dean gagged a little. His gag reflex wasn't as bad as Castiel's had been, but this was still harder and more complicated than he had pictured it to be. He'd received more blowjobs than he could count and gone down on just as many women, but this... this was completely new to him.

He felt Castiel's hands in his hair as the angel continued to moan his name, incessantly.

"Dean, oh God, I-I... I'm... what's the word...?"

Quickly, Dean said, "Coming," before he went back to going down on the angel. "It's another word for 'orgasm'."

Castiel tightened his grip on Dean's hair and said, "Dean I-I think I'm coming. Dean, oh Dean...!"

He came into Dean's mouth.

It tasted thick and salty, and Dean didn't know what to do, but it was obvious that Cass didn't have any sort of STD, not to mention the fact that he loved him, dearly, so... Dean swallowed.

Dean sat up on his knees and wiped his mouth, while Castiel laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and breathing heavily.

"Thank you, Dean," Castiel whispered to him. "That felt... amazing..."

"You're welcome," Dean replied quietly.

There was a knock on the door.

"Shit," Dean muttered.

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked.

"That just has to be Sam, I know it."

"I can go and hide somewhere if you'd like."

Dean shook his head. "I guess you'll have to. Go hide in the bathroom until I get rid of him."

"But Dean," Castiel whispered as he zipped his pants back up. "Sam needs to know I'm not dead, too..."

"Yeah, I know that," Dean agreed, still in nothing but a towel. "But he doesn't need to know that I'm sleeping with you. It's none of his business."

"Well, okay then..." Castiel said, standing up before he went into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Dean approached the door, quickly checking the peephole.

Surely enough, it was none other than Sam Winchester.

Dean sighed heavily, and then opened the door.

"So," Sam said with his arms folded across his chest, "You were too lazy to call me back?"

"No, I was just... busy, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know." Sam smirked at him. "Another shapeshifting prostitute."

"Yeah, uh, she just left. I was in the shower when you knocked on the door."

"Dean," Sam began in a serious voice, "This has got to stop. The drinking, the prostitutes, the lies..."

"What lies?"

"Well," Sam continued, earnestly, "I know that your prostitute from last night never showed up."

Uh oh.

"H-How would you know that?"

"She was found in the club's parking lot with her eyes burned out, as if an angel had taken a whack at her. Her birth name was Emily Malone. Anyway, since she obviously didn't show this morning, what is it—or who is it—that you were doing in here?"

"Uh, when 'Emily' didn't show up, I... called the club and had them send over someone else..."

Sam sighed, his arms still folded. "Is that the truth?"

Dean nodded. "Yes, that's the truth," he lied.

"I want you to come back to the bunker with me," Sam said casually. "We need to find a new case, give you something to do besides drink and have sex."

"I think I should get dressed first," Dean replied, still wearing nothing but the white towel.

"And I think we need to look into the dead shapeshifter," Sam answered him. "I have feeling that we've got another rogue angel out there."

"Great," Dean said sarcastically. "That's just what we need."

"Well," Sam said in response, "I'll go wait in the Impala while you get dressed."

Dean nodded. "Alright, see you in a few."

Dean closed the door, before Castiel appeared in front of him.

"You were watching that?" Dean asked him.

"Yes," Castiel replied. "I... I know who killed the girl..."

"Who was it...?"

"Jack Kline," Castiel said with a huff. "Early this morning, after Jack brought me to you, he said... he said he had to take care of a 'certain someone', of a 'certain something'... I believe he was trying to, well... 'set us up'... and he didn't want the shapeshifter to come between us..."

"Oh, well that's just fantastic," Dean replied, sarcastic still. "Lucifer Jr.'s following you around."

"His name's 'Jack'," Castiel said in a corrective manner. "And he's my ward, not my enemy. If it weren't for him, I'd still be six feet under."

"Yet he's killed someone and you don't really give a damn."

"I care," Castiel said, truthfully. "You just... don't understand him..."

"And you do?"

"He's just a child," Castiel retorted. "He's all alone in the world, with Lucifer's power, which only makes things worse. I... I was supposed to raise him, but instead he raised me..."

"So you're saying that this Devil's spawn has _feelings_ for you?" Dean laughed out loud. "Right... that's a good one. This is _Lucifer's_ child we're talking about here, don't forget. He feels nothing, for no one."

"He saved me," Castiel replied silently. "He brought me to you, somehow knowing that you and I had... feelings... for one another. He claimed he could read my mind."

"Great, so now we're dealing with Professor X."

Castiel furrowed his brow. "Who's Professor X?"

Dean sighed. Castiel was still so naïve, in spite of the fact that it was one of the qualities Dean loved so much about him.

"Professor X is a telepath from X-Men."

"X-Men?"

"Just... just forget about it, okay? I've got to get to that hunter's club and find out what's up with 'Emily's' murder."

Castiel nodded. "Then I'll go with you."

"But Sam, he—"

"He has to find out about me, eventually."

"But I don't want to lose you again," Dean said swiftly. "I couldn't take it again, and if 'Jack' has the power to bring you back, he most certainly has the power to kill you..."

"Fine," Castiel murmured. "But I'm still coming with you."

"No."

"Yes."

The towel fell from Dean's waist, leaving him completely naked.

"No," he said again, approaching the angel.

 _His_ angel.

When he reached Castiel, he leaned downwards and kissed him, his right-hand cupping the angel's face.

Castiel kissed him back, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck.

"Dean," Castiel whispered into the kiss. "I have to go."

"No, you don't."

Castiel pulled away. "Yes, I do. Not to mention the fact that Sam needs to know that I'm alive... I'm sure he feels just as badly about my death as you do..."

"No way in hell," Dean replied against Castiel's lips. "You're my angel..."

"But Sam still needs to know..."

"Fine," Dean sighed, caressing the side of Castiel's face with the back of his hand. "We'll tell him."

Castiel swallowed. "You may... want to get dressed, first, though..."`

"How can I think about getting dressed when I want to fuck you, right here, right now?"

"Sam's expecting you," Castiel said, caressing Dean's face likewise.

"Fine," Dean sighed with utmost regret. "I'll go... put on my clothes..."

"Wait," Castiel whispered. "Would you like me to... give you a, what do you call it? Oh—a blowjob first?"

"Yes," Dean replied seriously. "But we don't have the time, unfortunately."

"Dean,'" Castiel said, his face flushing red, "I'm starting to feel... strange again..."

"The word you're looking for is 'horny', Cass."

"I don't understand."

Dean sighed. "It means you want to have sex."

"Oh," Castiel whispered, embarrassed.

"We'll have plenty time for that later," Dean said, in spite of the fact that he wanted to have sex with Castiel again, too.

Castiel studied Dean as he put his clothes back on. Dean pulled his jeans up, before he then pulled his white t-shirt on. Afterwards, he put his open, dark green shirt on over his t-shirt.

Dean said, "I have absolutely no idea how we're going to explain this to Sam." He ran a hand back through his hair and sighed again. "He's going to want to know why I didn't tell him you were alive sooner."

"Are we going to tell him that you and I had intercourse?"

"No," Dean said quickly. "That's none of his business."

Castiel nodded. "Alright, I understand. I'll see you outside, then."

And just like that, Castiel was out the door and gone.

"Shit," Dean muttered, and then began to gather his things as fast as he could.

 **000**

Sam was sitting in the driver's seat to his and Dean's 67' Impala.

"Damn," Sam said, sighing. "At least he didn't seem drunk, though..."

"Hello, Sam..."

Sam jumped in place. He'd recognized that voice all too well...

Within seconds, he had the colt pointed in Castiel's face.

"Who the hell are you?" Sam asked as he cocked the gun.

"It's me," Castiel said, making it sound simple enough. "It's me, Castiel."

"Nice try," Sam said, gun pointed at Castiel's face. "Now I want you to give me one good reason as to why I shouldn't blow your head right off."

"It's... really me, Sam..."

Sam shook his head. "No, it can't be. Castiel is dead.'

"Jack brought me back," Castiel whispered, staring Sam straight in the eyes. "It's really me. Team Free Will, remember?"

"Anyone could tell me that," Sam said sternly. "You have ten seconds before I blow your head right off, shifter."

"I'm not a shifter," Castiel whispered softly. "Ask Dean. It's really me..."

"Then tell me something that only the _real_ Castiel would know."

"Fine," Castiel sighed. "I... I watched a porno in one of your motel rooms... about the pizza man... before Samuel stepped inside and seemed very displeased. Then I later kissed Meg while we were in hell..."

Sam's eyes softened, and he lowered the gun. "Cass...?"

"Yes," Castiel whispered. "It's _really_ me..."

Sam didn't hesitate. He leaned over and pulled Castiel into a tight hug. "Oh Cass... it's _really_ you."

Castiel hugged Sam back, his arms wrapped around him. "I've missed you, Sam..."

"But how... why did Jack bring you back?"

"Because I'm his ward," Castiel replied, making it sound simple enough. "I'm, well... the only father figure he's ever known..."

Sam continued to hug Castiel, so tightly that the angel could barely breathe. "Cass," he whispered, tears forming in his eyes, "It's _really_ you."

"Please don't cry," Castiel murmured as Sam continued to hug him.

"But it's you," Sam continued, his eyes filled with unshed tears. "It's _really_ you."

"Sam," Castiel said. "I can't... breathe."

Sam relinquished his hold on Castiel. "Does Dean know?"

Castiel nodded. "He knows."

Shortly thereafter, Dean appeared; standing outside of the Impala.

He opened the back door and got in.

"Dean," Sam said abruptly. "You _knew_ Cass was alive and you _didn't_ tell me...?"

"Hey," Dean replied, "I didn't know myself until last night."

"You still should've called me or something," Sam said, far from happy. "And I can't _believe_ your letting Cass ride shotgun."

"Believe it. When your best-friend comes back from the dead, he's entitled to ride in the front seat for a while."

"Point," Sam remarked. "So where are we headed? The Hunter's Club?"

Dead nodded. "Yes, but I don't think Cass should go."

"Dean," Castiel began. "We've already been over this. I'm going."

"Sam, the 'angel' who killed the girl was Jack Kline," Dean said to Sam.

Sam blinked and looked at Castiel. "I... agree with Dean... Maybe it'd be better if you set this one out, Cass..."

"No," Castiel said sternly. "I'm going."

Dean said, "You don't have your powers anymore. It's not safe."

"Cass," Sam began. "Are you turning human again?"

Castiel shook his head. "No. I still have my grace, but as for my powers, well... I think Jack warded me to keep from using them..."

"And yet you continue to take up from him," Dean said with a huff.

"I'm still coming with you."

Sam sighed the sigh of defeat. "Fine," he said, and then turned on the ignition. "What I want to know is why Jack would target some random shifter. It just... doesn't make any sense."

Dean huffed. He couldn't tell Sam the truth... not yet, anyway. "I think it has something to do with me..." he admitted.

Sam furrowed his brow. "Why would Jack kill some random shifter over you?"

Dean took a moment to think. "I can only think that it was 'Jack's' way of getting back at me."

"That still doesn't make any sense," Sam muttered out of the corner of his mouth. "But, he did raise Cass from the dead, so..."

"He didn't exactly 'raise' me," Castiel said, honestly. "He... 'woke me up', so to speak..."

"But still," Sam said, looking at Dean through the rearview mirror, "Like I said, he can't be _that_ bad..."

"He's not," Castiel stated bluntly. "What he did, he did for me... so it's my fault."

"But why would Jack kill some random shifter over you?" Sam asked Castiel.

"Because..." Castiel sighed, loudly. "Because he wanted me to meet with Dean before the shifter arrived."

"Weird," Sam said under his breath. "And what did you and Dean do? Just talk all night instead of letting me know you were alive?"

Abruptly and without thought, Castiel replied, "Dean and I had sexual intercourse last night."

Sam slammed on the breaks. " _What?!_ "

"Damnit, Cass," Dean said with disproval. "Did you just have to _broadcast_ it like that?"

"What the hell?" Sam said to the both of them. "Dean, you actually _slept_ with _Cass?_ "

"Yeah," Dean said, feeling utterly humiliated.

"But, I mean... why?" Sam asked them both.

"Because Dean's in love with me," Castiel said simply.

"Oh my God," Sam said as he cranked up the car again. "Dean, how you could, you know... have sex with an angel? With _Cass_ of all people?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Dean said, feeling embarrassed. "It's none of your business."

"Yes, it is," Sam said, angry. "This is my brother and my best-friend we're talking about here. Did you really think you could just _hide_ something like that from _me_ of all people?"

"Well," Dean huffed. "Maybe if Cass didn't have such a big mouth."

"Dean said I had a velvet throat," Castiel said absentmindedly, as if it wasn't personal, as if he didn't know any better.

"Dean!" Sam exclaimed out of a mixture of shock and horror. "You made Cass _go down_ on you?!"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes, okay? But I didn't know it was him at the time. And Cass, _stop_ talking about what happened between us last night. It's _private_."

"What do you mean you didn't know it was him?" Sam asked Dean.

Dean exhaled a deep breath of air. "The shifter... I... I had sex with her while she was in Castiel's form the night before last. After we were... done... I asked her to come back the following night. I heard a knock on the door and saw Cass, thinking it was the shapeshifter from the night before, and then I... I..." He couldn't bring himself to say anymore.

"It _really_ hurt," Castiel said to Sam, and Dean just wanted to die. Sam, too. Castiel went on to say, "But it felt better later. Dean said it was the best sex of his life."

"Cass!" Dean said loudly. "Shut up!"

"Too much information," Sam replied, sickened. He could only imagine the things Dean had done to Cass the previous night, and he didn't want to think about it.

"I don't understand," Castiel said sincerely. "I thought humans were supposed to talk about sex. I've heard Dean talk about it in the past a lot, and I saw the kind of webpages he went to. He really likes Asian women, I think."

"Ugh," Sam sputtered. "Again, Cass... too much information."

"We're here," Dean said, just wanting to say anything to get away from the current subject.

"I'll pull up around back," Sam said to them. "Dean, I think you should stay in the car. With Emily dead, you're probably their number one suspect."

"No, I'm going in," Dean replied.

"Me, too," Castiel agreed.

"Fine," Sam sighed. "Just... don't get carried away in there, and Dean, watch out for weapons. I'll bet any one of those shifters in there would pull a gun out on you without giving it a second thought."

Without another word, Sam, Dean, and Castiel got out of the car.

Castiel shut the door. "What is this place...?"

When Dean didn't answer, Sam did it for him.

"It's a strip club with prostitutes."

"Oh," Castiel said simply. "Dean took me to one of these places once before while you two were estranged. I was kicked out for inappropriate behavior with one of the women. Dean said it was the most fun he'd had in years."

"Dean, you never told me about that," Sam stated.

"Cass," Dean began. "Just... stop talking, okay?"

Castiel tilted his head to the side and shrugged, as though he still didn't understand the meaning of the word 'privacy'. Unfortunately Cass's utter naivety was part of what Dean loved so much about him.

The trio entered the club through the back door.

One of the employees—a young looking female shifter—eyed Dean first thing. From behind a desk, she pulled out a gun and aimed it at Dean.

Dean held his hands up, while Sam meanwhile pulled out a gun on the shifter.

"Drop it," Sam said seriously.

She shook her head at them. "No, he _murdered_ Emily. She was my best-friend."

"That wasn't me," Dean insisted.

"Then who did?"

Dean sighed deeply. "It was Lucifer's son, Jack Kline..."

The shifter lowered her gun. "I've heard stories about him, but I always thought they were rumors."

"No," Castiel said to her. "He's real, he's here, and he's extremely powerful."

"Castiel...?" the shifter said in disbelief. "I thought Lucifer killed you?"

"He did," Castiel replied. "But then... Jack brought me back to life..."

"But what would a Nephilim want with Emily...?"

"It's my fault," Castiel said, looking downwards, before he once again made eye-contact with the shifter. "He's been following me."

"But I've never even _seen_ you here before."

"It... may have had something to do with me, too," Dean said admittedly.

Beth appeared. "Dean Winchester? What the hell? You have some nerve coming back here after what you pulled!"

"He didn't do it," the female shifter behind the desk said to the waitress. "It was a Nephilim."

"I don't think we're really getting anywhere with this," Castiel said, looking at Dean.

"Castiel...?" Beth said, astonished. "But-B

ut you were dead!"

"I was resurrected," Castiel replied honestly.

"Dean," Sam said, "Take Cass and go inside. Find out if any of the hunters or shifters here have seen anything or anyone strange in the past several days. I'll go talk to the manager and see what they know."

Dean and Castiel nodded.

"Alright," Dean agreed.

When Dean and Castiel entered the club, the various shifters eyed Dean as though they were afraid.

"Relax!" Dean yelled over the music. "We come in peace!"

Every hunter in the damn building eyed Dean and Castiel, looking shocked as hell.

"Dean?" Aiden said to him. "What's going on?"

"Oh, hi Aiden," Dean said, giving the young hunter a brief hug. "Long time no see."

"I'm Castiel," the angel said to Aiden.

"Yeah, sure," Aiden said with a smile. "You two are both legendary. But Castiel, I heard you were dead?"

Castiel was getting tired of repeating himself. "I was resurrected by Lucifer's son."

Aiden appeared baffled. "You mean Jack?"

"You've heard of him?" Dean asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding me? Every hunter knowns about Lucifer's Nephilim. We're all gunning to kill him."

"No," Castiel said sternly. "He's not the same as Lucifer. He's good."

Aiden laughed out loud at Castiel, making the angel somewhat angry. "You two look like you could use a drink. C'mon, I'm buying."

"I won't say no to that," Dean said, smiling.

"Dean," Castiel said, gripping at Dean's arm. "We don't have time for this. We have to find Jack before something else bad happens."

"Relax, Cass," Dean said to him. "We can drink and question the people here. Like they say, never trust a non-drinker in a bar."

Castiel's brow furrowed. "People say that?"

"Well look who it is," a foreign voice said from behind Dean and Castiel.

They turned around.

It was Max Baines.

"Dean Winchester," Max said, giving Dean a hug and patting him on the back. "It's great to see you again. And... who is your friend here?" He looked Castiel up and down. Then he ran his hand down Castiel's arm in a sexy manner.

"You must be a shifter," Max said to Castiel. "You're much too beautiful to be human."

"I'm not human," Castiel said in response. "I'm an angel of the Lord."

"You'd be an angel no matter what you were."

Dean frowned at Max. "Will you _please_ stop flirting with my friend? How much have you had to drink, anyway? And what about Alicia?"

"Alicia's at a motel nearby. She doesn't like coming here."

"How is she?" Dean asked Max.

Max suddenly appeared... disturbed. "I... don't want to talk about her... But I would like to talk to your angel friend..."

"Why don't we all sit down and hang out a little?" Aiden said, patting Dean a single time are the arm.

"Alright," Dean replied, though he was none too happy when Max opted to sit beside Castiel. "Aiden, you still buying those rounds?"

Aiden nodded. "Sure thing," he said, sitting down next to Max. "Pick your poison, guys."

"Tequila," Dean said as though he couldn't wait to drink.

"Red wine," Max replied.

"How about you, Castiel?" Aiden said to the angel. "Everclear?"

"Uh, no," Dean replied with disapproval clear in his voice. "I don't think he should be drinking in this place at all."

Castiel frowned at him. "I can drink just as well as anyone. I'll have tequila, too."

"And I'm having a shot of Vox," Aiden said with a smile. He signaled one of the waitresses and then placed his order.

"Say, uh," Dean began, looking at Aiden. "You haven't seen anything, well, 'strange' here in the past couple of days, have you?"

Aiden furrowed his brow. "Define strange?"

"Well," Dean continued, trying to find the right words. "You know, anything out of the ordinary, or someone acting strange here."

Aiden laughed. "Yeah, _all_ the time."

Dean sighed. "What about you, Max?"

"Well," Max began. "There was this teenager hanging around here yesterday, but he wasn't drinking or hanging around with any of the strippers. He just sat there and stared, and I swore I saw..." He laughed. "Forget about it."

"No," Castiel stated. "What did you see?"

Max shook his head. "I swore his eyes flashed gold when I looked at him. He smiled at me but I ignored him. He was way too young for me to be checking out. Plus, he was creepy."

"Bingo," Dean said, sighing with relief. Finally, a solid lead. "What else can you remember about this guy?"

Max thought back to the day before. "Hmm... not much, really. Like I said, I didn't speak to him. No one did that I saw. He just hung around for an hour or so after happy hour and then went out the back door."

"Max," Dean said in a serious voice. "Think hard. Have you seen him since yesterday?"

"No, I haven't," Max replied, thanking the waitress when his drink arrived.

Castiel looked down at the bar. "I didn't order three shots."

The waitress shook her head. "No, cutie, one is from the blonde hunter at the bar and the other is from a man by the stage."

Max took a drink from his wineglass, and then set it down on the tabletop. He ran his hand sensually down Castiel's arm again. "Bring him another drink from me."

"Uh, thank you?" Castiel said, appearing dumbfounded while Max continued to caress his arm.

Dean drank his shot and then slammed it down on the table hard enough to gather everyone's attention. "Max," he shook his head, "No."

"Wait a minute..." Max smiled slyly. "You two are together!"

"What?" Aiden said, sounding shocked. "But Dean is practically a _legend_ with the ladies, and I didn't think _angels_ had sex at _all_."

"Generally most of us are asexual, though we can have sex through our vessels if we have the desire to," Castiel replied after taking his first shot. Then he had another, and another.

"And have you had the 'desire' to with Dean?" Max asked the angel.

"Hey," Dean cut in. "Stop asking Cass all of these questions. He doesn't understand how to answer them."

Max continued to smile. "I have a great gaydar, Dean."

"We haven't done anything," Castiel said quickly. "We're not... 'together'..."

"If that's true, how about you and I get together?" Max asked him.

"I don't understand," Castiel replied. "Are you trying to persuade me to have sexual intercourse with you?"

"Can we all please change the subject to something a little _less_ gay?" Aiden said, looking across the table and into Max's eyes.

"Verum nunc," Max said to Castiel, his eyes flashing purple.

"Dean's in love with me," Castiel replied, unable to control himself against Max's truth spell. "We had sex for the first time last night. He thought I was a shapeshifter from this club. He pinned me to the wall from behind and then violated me. I wanted it to stop so badly, but without my powers, Dean was easily able to overpower me. After he was... done and unpinned from the wall, he threw me down on the bed and—"

"Max, what the _hell?!_ " Dean shouted. "What did you _do_ to him?!"

"A truth spell," Max replied, though he was no longer smiling. "You _forced_ yourself on him? That's _sick_."

"I didn't _force_ anyone," Dean replied angrily. "I _thought_ it was a shapeshifter who said she was cool with me having _rough sex_."

"So let me get this straight," Max began. "You came here and hired a shapeshifter to impersonate your dead friend during sex?"

Aiden's jaw had dropped. "Woah, that's uh, that's... Okay, I don't even know."

Castiel drank another shot. Then he put his index and forefingers together and touched Max on the forehead.

Nothing happened.

"I forgot," Castiel whispered. "I forgot that I'd lost my powers..."

"What was that?" Max asked Castiel. "Trust me beautiful, I don't mind you touching me at all, but what was with the forehead thing?"

Dean sighed and looked at Castiel. "I think we'd better be going. Let's see if Sam's had any luck. But just, damn, Cass... with hunters here like Max and Aiden and Walt... every hunter in the whole United States is going to know about what went on between us last night."

"I'm sure they have enough on their plates to deal with. I doubt any hunter would care so much about your sex life."

"Yeah, well, I hope you're right... rumors about my being 'gay' are the _last_ thing I need right now.

Castiel shook his head lightly. "Let us just find Sam. Maybe he's found something else on Jack."

 **000**

"Run that back again for me."

"Okay, but I don't know what it is you thought you saw."

Sam studied the monitor. "Wait. Right,"—he pressed a key on the keyboard—"there."

"In case you haven't forgotten, this club is full of shapeshifters. All of our eyes glow on camera."

"Not like this," Sam said to the club manager. "His eyes appear _amber_."

"Sam," Dean said, having entered to office. "You find anything?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I did. A teenage boy with amber eyes. It's definitely Jack."

Castiel walked up, leaned down and looked at the monitor. "That's him," he said honestly. "That's... that's Jack."

"And he killed one of my girls?" the manager asked.

Sam nodded. "It would seem so."

The manager nodded likewise. "I'll have security keep an eye out for him."

Sam looked to Dean and Castiel. "Did either of you get anything?"

Dean nodded, too. "Yes. Max Baines said he saw a strange teenage boy with glowing, golden eyes hanging around here yesterday shortly before Emily was murdered in the parking lot out back. Max said the guy didn't drink or even talk to anyone. He said Jack was just... well, I think he was just _waiting_ for something, if you know what I mean..."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "He killed the shifter and then paid a visit to Cass's gravesite."

"But where do you think he is?" Castiel asked Sam.

Sam shrugged and sighed. "I really don't know."

"Oh I think he'll turn up," Dean said to the both of them. "He's somehow... 'tethered' to Cass. I think that where Cass goes, Jack will go..."

"If that's true, he's probably close by..." Sam said eerily.

"Or he could be any one of those customers out there," Dean continued. "I'm sure a Nephilim with Lucifer's power wouldn't have trouble camouflaging himself just like a shifter."

"Then why would he have shown himself here to begin with?" Castiel asked Dean.

"Probably because he _wanted_ us to see him," Sam replied. "Let's go, guys. I have an idea..."

"What kind of idea?" Dean questioned his brother.

"If you're right, and he really is 'tethered' to Cass in some way, then Cass could try 'calling out' to him."

"No," Dean said sternly. "Cass would be risking his _life_."

Sam looked Dean in the eyes. "Why would Jack raise Cass only to kill him all over again?"

"I don't know," Dean said to Sam, "but this is Lucifer's spawn we're talking about here. He's probably a crazed sociopath."

"No, he's _not_ ," Castiel argued. "He was only doing what he thought was best for me... He told me that you were in trouble, Dean, and he took me to you... He said you weren't doing well, that he had been watching over the both of you while I was unable to. He said he would never let any harm come to me..."

"Great, so Lucifer Jr. _loves_ you," Dean said sarcastically. "So let's all just go outside like one big happy family and you can call out to the Devil's son and practically commit suicide."

"Cass," Sam said, looking into Castiel's blue eyes. "It's your call."

Castiel clenched his fists. "I'll do it."

Sam nodded. "Let's go."

The club manager said, "I'll give security a copy of his photograph and let all of my employees and customers know they need to be on the watch for this kid."

"Thanks, but it's _not_ a kid," Dean said, briefly wondering if the manager was human or shapeshifter. Still, either way, he couldn't have cared less at the moment.

The trio headed for the back door.

And then Max spotted them.

"Damnit, not again..." Dean said under his breath.

"Hey Max," Sam said, giving his fellow hunter a brief hug. "How've you been?"

"Alright."

"What about Alicia?"

"She's... fine, I guess..."

Sam eyed the witch curiously. "Is... something wrong?"

Max averted his eyes temporarily. "I... don't really want to talk about it..." He eyed Castiel. "Hey blue eyes. Want another drink?"

"I'd have to consume a massive amount of alcoholic beverages in order to merely tolerate your presence," Castiel replied nonchalantly. "You put a spell on me last time we spoke."

"Sorry about that. It won't happen again."

"Let's just go already," Dean said to Sam and Castiel.

"Will I see you again?" Max smiled at the angel.

"Perhaps," Castiel replied. "I can sense that you're a very good person, Max—warm and kind and self-sacrificing—I just don't wish to engage in sexual intercourse with you."

"Mmm, that's too bad..."

"Okay, enough flirting," Dean said to both Max and Castiel. "We gotta go."

 **000**

It was later in the evening now.

Dean and Sam went to their Impala, opening the trunk as they gathered weapons of all kinds.

"I won't let you hurt him," Castiel said to the brothers.

"Fine," Dean replied in an angry voice. "Me and Sam will do it for you."

" _ **No**_ ," Castiel snapped back. "You'll leave him alone, and if you don't, I _will_ leave you," he said to Sam and Dean. "I'll find Jack and we'll go someplace that you'll _never_ be able to find us."

"What, so now you're blackmailing us?" Dean asked the angel.

Castiel stared at Dean intently. "Absolutely."

"Fine," Dean said, putting his machine gun back into the trunk before he shut it thereafter.

Castiel looked up and closed his eyes. "Jack, please hear me. I only what's best for you, just as you said you wanted the best for me. Please, answer me..."

A minute went by.

Another minute went by.

And another.

"Cass," Dean said, sounding relived. "It looks like he's not coming."

"No," Castiel said as the wind picked up. Dirt and old newspaper and trash flew by, and Castiel turned around, spinning to the left and then to the right, over and over again.

" _Castiel..."_ the angel heard in his head.

"Jack...?" he asked, looking none too thrilled. He had always hated it when he heard voices in his head.

"Cass," Dean began worriedly. "What's going on with you?"

" _Castiel, Father... I know what you want, what you all want. Last night I made sure Dean had you, just as you'd fantasized, just as he'd fantasized. Now it's time for the other person you love to have you."_

" _Turn around,"_ Jack's voice in Castiel's head said.

He did as he had been instructed, turning around.

Surely enough, he saw Jack.

Jack looked behind Castiel, to where Sam and Dean were standing in front of their Impala.

Then he looked at Dean specifically. "Did you enjoy yourself last night, Dean Winchester?"

And then he looked at Castiel. "Did you enjoy yourself, too? Was it everything you'd ever dreamed it would be?"

"Shut up!" Dean spat, looking at Jack as though the boy was completely insane. "Leave Cass alone!"

"I'd never hurt Castiel," Jack replied, earnestly. "He's my father."

" _Hey_ ," Dean said furiously. "Cass _doesn't_ belong to you."

"Why?" Jack asked Dean with a somewhat dark smile plastered upon his face. "Because he already belongs to you?"

"Jack," Castiel said to the Nephilim, "Just come with us and we can try to reason this out..."

"Perhaps," Jack responded. "But right now, I'm going to give you the rest of what you wanted as a reward for taking care of my mother, of me."

Castiel's brow furrowed. "What are you talking about, Jack?"

"You had your time with Dean," Jack said, looking at Dean. Then his dark eyes slowly moved to the right. He looked at Sam. "Now it's time for your turn."

"What?!" Dean exclaimed. "No. _No_ , that's **never** going to happen."

"Even if we are friends on some level, I don't care about you, Dean Winchester," Jack said to Dean. "I only care about Castiel. You weren't his only fantasy, Dean. He's thought of Sam in that way, too."

Castiel's mouth opened, but no words would come out. He felt angry and afraid... embarrassed, humiliated... betrayed...

"I don't want to be with Cass like that," Sam said firmly. "And you can't make me do something like that."

"Actually," Jack said, and then snapped his fingers, "I can..."

Almost instantly, both Sam and Castiel fell to the ground, appearing perplexed and shocked and terrified.

And then Jack snapped his fingers again, before Sam and Castiel vanished into thin air.

"You son of a bitch." Dean hissed. "What the hell did you _do_ to them?!"

Jack raised his right hand, looking as though he was going to smite Dean. Instead, Dean fell to his knees and felt a terrible feeling.

Dean felt as though he would literally _die_ if he didn't have sex, there, then and now.

"Oh-Oh God," Dean said, afraid. "What-What did you do to me? Please, make it stop!"

Jack waved his hand again, relieving Dean from that terrible, horrible feeling.

Dean slowly got up.

Jack said, "If you think that was bad, imagine how your brother and Castiel feel at the moment... all alone, with no one to have sex with them apart from each other..."

"You're sick..." Dean said, appearing horrified.

"I told Castiel that he and Sam had one hour to orgasm via penetration of some sort or that they would die from the sheer agony of it all."

"Tell me where you sent them, you piece of shit," Dean said demandingly.

Jack smiled at him. "At your 'Men of Letter's bunker. If you hurry you may be able to stop them... in the act."

"I'll kill you," Dean said to Jack. "I'm going to kill you."

"No, you're not," Jack replied boastfully. "What you _are_ going to do is get into your car, drive as fast as you can, and break the door down before you try to stop Sam and Castiel."

"Why the hell are you doing this?!" Dean shouted.

"Because I love my father. I'm only trying to give him what he wants, what he's wanted for years."

"You don't love Castiel," Dean said, feeling angrier than he'd ever felt in his life. "If you did you'd know that Cass would _never_ want this."

"If I recall he didn't want you at first, either," Jack said with that dark smile still on his face. "By the way, ever since you did what you did to Castiel, sexually, he feels that his virtue is _gone_. He feels that you _raped_ him. He _hates_ himself for having enjoyed it. With his powers gone, he's _scared_ of you—scared that you might try to _violate_ him again—but he loves you _so_ much that he's willing to let you do it again. He's been thinking about it all day long. He wants nothing more than for you to slam him into the wall and fuck him from behind as hard as you can. He's disgusted with himself, and with you..."

Jack's words had made Dean feel sick, disgraced, ashamed...

"He-He thinks that I... I raped him...?"

"Oh yes," Jack replied with a complete lack of emotion. "When you had him up against the wall, he tried to smite you but found that he couldn't because his powers were gone."

"Why did you bring Cass to me in the first place if you knew something like that could've happened to him...?"

"Because he loves you. I wanted him to have you, for you to have him... you haven't been inside of his mind. I've been in all of yours, and you've all had some rather disturbing thoughts about one another."

Dean suddenly remembered Castiel and Sam, what Jack had done to them.

Dean pointed at him. "I'm still going to kill you someday. This isn't over."

He opened the door to his Impala, and then turned around to see Jack was gone...

He knew he didn't have long, that he had to get back to the bunker as quickly as he possibly could.

Dean turned on the ignition and took off, speeding the whole while to the bunker...

 **000**

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading!

No flames, please!

Also, I already have the next chapter of this mostly done, but I need to go over it again before posting it.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** There is a slashy threesome in this chapter, so **don't** like, **don't** read!

Please, no flames! x)

 **Unknown Reason**

000

Chapter 2

Castiel was breathing heavily, as was Sam.

"Oh my God," Castiel said, terrified of what was happening to him, to Sam. "I-I feel like... like..."

"I know," Sam replied.

They were both on the floor, sitting against the wall.

Castiel loosened his tie, and then took off his coat. "I'm so hot... if I could sweat I'd be covered by now."

Sam was already sweating. "Cass, we-we can fight this."

"Oh really?" Castiel replied, practically heaving. "Jack sent me a message in my head before he sent us here."

"What kind of message?"

Castiel closed his eyes, his head falling back against the wall. "He-He said that if we didn't have some form of sexual intercourse within the hour that we would both die."

"Why can't we just, you know... get ourselves off?"

"Jack said that wouldn't work."

"I-I think we should lock ourselves in separate rooms..."

"In the end it won't matter," Castiel replied, panting. "We'll die. I don't want you to die, Sam..."

Sam began to pant, too. "God, I... I feel like if I don't have sex that I'm going to die anyway..."

"Me, too."

Sam groaned out of pain, his body feeling similar to the way it had felt when he had been withdrawing from demon blood.

"Sam, I... I'm sorry, so sorry for this," Castiel said sincerely. "It's my horrible thoughts that got us here."

"What horrible thoughts?"

Castiel closed his eyes again. He couldn't bear to look at Sam.

"The thoughts I've had about you, sexually..."

"What...?"

"Like you haven't had them, too," Castiel said under his breath.

Sam didn't know what to say. Castiel was... right...

"Maybe we could go out and find a couple of women?"

Castiel shook his head. "We don't have the time." He pulled his tie off and unbuttoned his shirt halfway. Sam couldn't help but notice how sexy Castiel appeared to be, although thinking like that made him sick with himself.

"I'm not going to let you die, Sam," Castiel stated. "Especially not from something like this."

"What else can we do...?"

Castiel turned to his right, inching closer to Sam. Once he was close enough, he cupped Sam's face with both hands, tilted his own head back, leaned up and then kissed him.

Sam pulled away. "No, Cass, we-we just can't, I... what about Dean...?"

"I... I love him, too," Castiel whispered to Sam. "But I'm not going to let you die from something like this."

"So in other words you're trying to say that you want to take one for the team?"

Castiel appeared confused. "What does that mean?"

"Never mind," Sam sighed, his breathing shallow and heavy while beads of sweat ran down his face like tears. He unbuttoned his flannel shirt all the way down and then opened it. "I'm sure Dean is trying to get here as fast as he can. If he gets here in time, maybe he'll be able to do something to help us."

"Dean doesn't even know we're here unless Jack told him."

Sam forced a sarcastic smile. "Yeah like there was any chance of _that_ happening." He groaned again, feeling as a searing pain began to preside all over his body.

Castiel could feel the pain, too. It was unbearable and utter agony. "Oh God, Sam, it hurts so much..."

"I've been tortured by the Devil himself," Sam replied. "Trust me—it _could_ be worse."

"I don't see how," Castiel said in response, clenching his hands into tight fists. "Did Lucifer or Michael try to violate you in that way?"

"No, but... I'm pretty sure Lucifer wanted to..."

"That's horrible," Castiel replied. "I would have taken your place if I could have..."

"You already did when you shifted my hell into yourself..."

Castiel exhaled and smiled at Sam. "It was terrible. I saw Lucifer and hellfire everywhere I went. At first it was just Lucifer, then the fire came. It was so real... I... Dean doesn't know this, but I tried to kill myself..."

"Cass..." Sam gave him a sympathetic look.

"I took an angel blade to my heart and just... jammed it in..." Castiel said, regretfully. "But God saved me again. He wouldn't let me die, and I _hated_ Him for it. He _still_ won't let me die. Every time I die, He brings me back. At times like now, I just wish I'd _stayed_ dead..."

"Hey," Sam said, placing his hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Don't you _ever_ think something like that."

"Well, if I die today maybe I will stay dead this time..."

Sam cupped the side of Castiel's face with his palm. "No one's going to die, Cass," he said, and then kissed the angel.

Castiel kissed him back, noting the difference between a kiss from Sam and one from Dean. Dean was more enthusiastic, whereas Sam was more compassionate.

Sam pulled away and stood up, though it was damn hard given the amount of pain he was in. Then he extended his hand down to Castiel, who gripped it back before Sam helped him rise from the floor.

Still holding Castiel's hand, Sam led him to the nearest bedroom, which of course just happened to be Dean's.

Castiel sat down on the large bed, Sam sitting next to him. Sam kissed him again, while Castiel moaned into his mouth. Neither of them could take the pain anymore.

It was either sex or death.

"How-How was it with Dean...?" Sam asked the angel.

Castiel panted out the words, "It was very painful. He-He... _forced_ himself on me... forced me to do things to him..."

" _What?!_ "

"But it _wasn't_ his fault," Castiel said, defending Dean nonetheless. "He... didn't realize it was _me_ , and everything that came after he realized who I was I consented to..."

"That's... no excuse for what he did to you, Cass. I still can't believe he would _do_ something like that, to _anyone_ , and especially to you."

"I don't want to talk about that anymore," Castiel said, and then kissed Sam again. "When I kiss you the pain isn't as bad."

Sam laid Castiel down on the bed and said, "I'm not going to do this unless you want to. I'd rather die from whatever this is than hurt you in the way you say Dean did."

"I-I want to do it..."

Sam unbuttoned the rest of Castiel's white shirt and took it off of him, before removing his own shirt. He threw the clothing to the side, off of the bed, and then went to work on Castiel's ebony pants. Sam removed Castiel's likewise black shoes, and then pulled his pants down. Afterwards, he stood up and took off his jeans before getting back into bed with Castiel.

"Please," Castiel pleaded. "I can't take it anymore. I feel like my whole body is on fire, like I'm burning in hell..."

"The hell you saved me from," Sam whispered, running his hand down Castiel's face, down his neck and then down to his chest. "Now it's my turn to save you."

"We have to save each other."

"I've never done this before," Sam said admittedly. "I mean, I've never been with a guy before, but... I think I can figure it out."

Sam leaned over Castiel and kissed the side of his neck, kissing his way down Castiel's body, down to his chest... sucking on one of his nipples.

"Sam," Castiel moaned, running his fingers through Sam's longer hair. "That feels good..."

Sam felt the same. Even though his entire body felt like it was on fire, the more he did with Castiel the better he felt.

He temporarily got off of Castiel in order to look in Dean's nightstand drawer, but there was nothing in there except for a copy of the Bible mixed with bad porno flicks and anime 'hentai'.

"Shit..."

"What's wrong?" Castiel asked him.

"We don't have any lubricant."

"What does that mean?"

"It means this is going to hurt twice as bad."

"I don't care," Castiel insisted. "I want you, _now_."

"I'll try to make this as painless for you as possible," Sam replied softly, and then stuck a set of fingers in his mouth. Castiel didn't understand what Sam was doing until he spread his legs and positioned his fingers. It was the same thing Dean had done, only Dean had provided lubricant.

Sam ran his left-hand through Castiel's dark hair. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," Castiel replied, though his voice seemed empty and hollow, his eyes dark and dilated, and his own body out of his control. Whatever was happening to him, Sam didn't know, though he could feel it happening to he himself, too."

Sam pushed a set of fingers into Castiel, who moaned silently in approval. Sam began scissoring them, before he added a third finger.

"I feel... better... when you do that," Castiel said softly.

"Good," Sam replied lustfully. Castiel looked so... beautiful. And Sam had lied to him. He _had_ fantasized about this before.

And Jack had known it.

Sam was going to kill him if he could.

"Sam, _please_ ," Castiel begged him. "I need more."

"Not just yet," Sam replied, looking into Castiel's sapphire eyes. "If I don't do this first, it's going to hurt you much more when I have sex with you."

"I don't care," Castiel answered him. "The pain is intensifying. I also feel... strange again. Dean called it 'being in heat'..."

"Please don't mention Dean while we're doing this," Sam asked of him. "It makes it hard to make love to someone when you know they're thinking about somebody else."

"I'm sorry..."

"You don't have to apologize," Sam said back to Castiel. "I know you don't know any better." He continued to finger the angel several more minutes, until he was satisfied that Castiel was ready.

He withdrew his fingers. "Cass," Sam said, temporarily running his right-hand back through Castiel's hair. "This is still going to hurt some, but I want you to know that the more times you do this the _better_ it feels. That's... that's why it hurt so much with Dean... he was your first."

"I thought you didn't want to talk about Dean," Castiel whispered.

"I don't. I was only making a point." Sam took his hardness into his hand and positioned himself between Castiel's legs.

"I... I love you, Cass," he murmured.

"I love you too, Sam..."

Sam slowly pushed into him, while Castiel gasped and then took a deep breath.

"Can I move?" Sam asked Castiel, even though he knew he would whether Castiel said he could or not.

"It... hurts like before..." Castiel admitted. "But not as much."

Sam spread Castiel's legs wider and began to take him, gently at first, and then harder and faster. He couldn't help himself. Whatever it was that Jack had done to them was making Sam crazy, like he couldn't help himself, and the more he got the more he wanted.

As Sam continued with him, Castiel felt the sheering pain from Jack's spell—or whatever it had been—fading away. He was still in pain, but it was starting to feel better like it had been toward the end with Dean.

Sam leaned down and kissed Castiel, using a lot more tongue than he had any of the previous times. Sam ran his hands down Castiel's arms, down to his wrists, before he pinned Castiel hands above his head while Castiel's erection felt the friction between their bodies.

Sam felt the pain and agony melting away as he continued to take Castiel, and yet he felt he needed more.

"Oh, God," Sam moaned loudly. "You're so tight, so very tight..."

Castiel continued to pant. "That's what Dean said."

"I told you," Sam said as he fucked Castiel, "I don't want you to think about him while we're doing this."

"Why not? _**I**_ _was_ his _first_ , and _that's_ something you can _never_ take away."

Fuck.

Sam and Castiel both recognized the foreign voice.

It was Dean.

Dean entered the room and grabbed Sam, pulling him off of Castiel. Then he began to punch him in the face—over and over again and over again—before he kneed him in the gut, punched him in the stomach, and then backhanded him with his fist.

Sam fell to the floor, spitting blood.

"Dean," Castiel said, "I-I... we couldn't help it... Jack, he—"

"Ssh," Dean whispered as Castiel sat up on the bed, cupping the angel's face with both hands. "I know it wasn't your fault. Jack made me feel it for a moment, too. But I don't care what he said, I know you can fight this."

" _Please_ ," Castiel begged Dean. "Let us finish..."

Dean frowned. "Fuck no," he replied harshly.

"Do you want Cass to die?" Sam asked Dean from the floor, spitting out some more blood.

"Sam will die, too, Dean," Castiel said to him, trying to think of something—anything—that he could say to make Dean understand.

Sam stood from the floor, briefly clutching at his stomach. Surely Dean had broken at least two of his ribs.

"Dean, get out of the room," Sam demanded, staring into his brother's angry eyes. "I can't control it, it hurts so much."

Dean approached his brother, ready to strike Sam in the face all over again.

But it was what Sam did next that shocked and scared the hell out of him.

Sam made an attempt to _kiss_ him. _Him_. His own _brother_.

"What the fuck?!" Dean exclaimed. "Have you two _completely_ lost your minds?!"

Sam appeared as if he was in some sort or trance, hypnotized or something. His eyes in particular... they were so dark, dilated, as though he was on drugs.

"Dean, please," Sam said between clenched teeth, fighting to catch every breath and struggling to find every thought. "Get out and let Cass and I finish. Then this will all be over."

Dean thought about it. "No," he said, his voice still harsh and angry. He didn't know what to do, but he wasn't going to let Sam fuck Castiel.

 _His_ Castiel.

On the other hand, they were going to die under Jack's influence unless they both had some form of sex with someone, and Dean was certainly not going to have sex with his own brother.

He could only think of one thing, and it made him sick.

"Sam," Dean said to him, "Get on the bed with your back to the frame. Cass, get... get on your hands and knees."

"Dean, I don't understand," Castiel replied in all honesty. "What do you want me to do?"

Dean shook his head and fisted his hands, looking down at the floor, unable to look Castiel or Sam in the eyes while he said it.

"You're... you're going to go down on Sam while I take you from behind..."

"You want a _threesome_ with _us?_ " Sam said, sounding shocked as hell.

"What's a threesome?" Castiel asked them.

Dean couldn't help but roll his eyes. "It's when three people have sex together."

"And what does it mean to 'go down' on someone?" the angel asked.

Dean sighed again. "For two guys, it means the same thing as a blowjob."

"Oh," Castiel said simply.

"But Dean, we—"

"Shut up," Dean said to Sam, cutting him off midsentence. "I'm not going to let either of you die because of Jack's sadistic way of showing Cass how supposedly devoted he is to him. I know you. I know you both, better than anyone. And I know neither of you would have done this, but I'm still angry at both of you for doing this to me."

Sam smirked at Dean. "It's not like you're married."

"Sam, this isn't you speaking, it's the spell," Dean stated. "Jack got into your head. He's got you both so messed up that you would have sex with anyone or anything right now to make that horrible feeling go away."

"If you felt it, you know Cass and I can't fight it," Sam replied, casting a glance down at Castiel, who was breathing so fast and so hard that he appeared as though he might have a heart-attack if didn't have sex soon. Come to think, Sam's chest was searing with pain, too. Maybe that's how they were going to die if they weren't allowed to continue.

"Sam," Dean said when he saw the way Sam was clutching at his chest. "Do what I said and get on the bed."

Sam finally gave in and did as he had been asked, sitting down on the bed next to Castiel, his back against the bedframe.

"Cass," Dean said to the angel, "Get on your hands and knees."

Castiel didn't understand what was happening—hell, he could barely put two thoughts together—but he did as Dean had instructed nevertheless.

"Cass," Dean repeated while he kneeled on the bed behind him, unzipping his jeans, "I'm so sorry that you have to do this with us like this. I can only hope—pray—that you can forgive me for this when it's over." Dean clenched his teeth together. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want this for Cass or for Sam. "Cass, go down on him."

"When I did that with you, I was unable to breathe..."

"That's because I didn't let you set the pace. I was forcing you to do it instead of letting you..." Dean could feel his eyes burning. "And... and Jack told me how you felt about our first time together... about how you felt I had stolen your virtue and fucking _raped_ you."

"It wasn't your fault, Dean," Castiel said, breathing heavily. "You didn't know any better, and I'm... not sorry it happened. I love you..."

"I love you too, Cass," Dean whispered. "That's why I'm so sorry we have to do this."

"Dean," Sam said to his brother, "I can't... _take_ it anymore. I feel like I'm dying."

"I won't let you die," Castiel said softly. He took Sam's hardness into his hand, opened his mouth, and began to suck him off.

Sam moaned and ran his fingers through Castiel's dark hair, pushing his head down and forcing Castiel to deep-throat him.

"Don't," Dean said to Sam. "Don't do that. You can't force him like I did... Let him figure it out for himself."

Even though Castiel was currently going down on Sam of all people, Dean could feel himself getting hard. Even with what Castiel was doing, he still looked so beautiful and so very sexy.

Still, Dean was sickened with himself. He could see the blood running down Castiel's thighs and became angrier with Sam, and with himself. They had both made him bleed. He knew it was only because Cass was so new at this, but he couldn't believe that he could be turned on by Castiel's pain...

He _hated_ himself.

He hated Sam.

He hated Cass.

And yet he loved Sam.

And yet he loved Cass.

Castiel gagged again, remembering what Dean had said about watching the teeth. He tried opening his mouth wider, and the task at hand seemed a little easier. Meanwhile Sam was fighting hard as hell not to grasp Castiel's head and force himself down the angel's throat. He still would have preferred to have fucked Castiel's ass instead, but Dean had been adamant.

Dean removed himself from his jeans and began stroking himself off until he was hard enough. Then he spread Castiel's thighs apart and gently—very gently—pushed inside.

Castiel moaned with Sam's dick in his mouth as he continued to service the two men all at once. As Dean began to move, Castiel sucked off Sam harder and faster. The more pleasure he received, the more he gave.

Dean continued to steadily take the man beneath him, trying to give Cass all the pleasure that he could, trying to be gentle with him... However the more he fucked Castiel the more difficult it became to restrain himself. He leaned down over him and licked a trail up his spine, which caused Castiel to shiver.

"Dean," Castiel moaned, working his hand up and down Sam's erection while his mouth was free. "Sam... I'm so thankful to be with you both like this... I love you both _so_ much... _more_ than you could possibly imagine..."

Sam cupped Castiel's face with both hands and raised his head higher, before he kissed Castiel and began making out with him.

"No," Dean said harshly. "No kissing."

"It's his choice, Dean," Sam replied, sounding angry and pissed-off.

"No, it's mine," Dean said to the both of them. "Cass is _mine_ , and no matter how much he loves you, he still loves me _more_. I know it."

 _He's right_ , Castiel thought. _But I love Sam, too... What am I going to do...? I can't engage in a sexual relationship with both of them, they wouldn't allow it, and I'm only serving to turn them against one another..._

 _I should have stayed dead._

 _Goddamn you, Jack. You are evil..._

 _What good could_ _ **possibly**_ _come out of this...?_

Castiel's body however had a different opinion than his mind. As he continued to suck Sam off and as Dean continued to take him from behind, his body shuttered with a blissful pleasure, and the pain was gone. He'd never felt so good in his _life_ , and no matter how much he hated himself, he loved giving Sam and Dean the pleasure they so desired from him more.

Dean began to take Castiel harder, picking up the pace with each and every thrust he aimed to take. Castiel was still so, so tight and so very hot. Dean's mouth opened and his head tilted back as he thrusted harder.

Sam ran his fingers through Castiel's hair again as he began to practically fuck Castiel's mouth. He couldn't help it. He felt as Castiel gagged again, but he almost didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore except achieving release.

And Dean had been right.

Castiel really did have a velvet throat.

And as the seconds flew by, Castiel was becoming better and better at performing oral sex.

"Oh, Cass," Sam whispered hotly. "You really are a fast learner..."

"Don't talk to him," Dean said to Sam.

"I'll speak to him _whenever_ and _however_ I want to, Dean. You may be pulling the strings here, but I'm _not_ your puppet."

"When this is over," Dean said, gasping for breath in between words, "I'll make sure that you _never_ touch Cass again."

"That's not your choice to make," Sam argued. "This _isn't_ some random woman from some bar that you can have a quickie in the back seat of your car with and then discard like a piece of trash before moving on to the next woman. This is _Cass_ , our _best-friend_ , our _family_ , our... our lover..."

"Please," Castiel said to them, "Don't—Don't, ah... argue with one another while I'm doing this... It makes me feel horrible and used."

"I'm sorry," Dean replied. "You-You're right. I should be trying to make you feel better, not worse... and no one's 'using' you, we love you..." He could tell Castiel was close—closer than he was, anyway—but this time he didn't care as to whether or not Castiel came without him. He knew Castiel needed release and he needed it now, as did Sam. They were the ones under Jack's disgusting influence, which made Dean feel all the more responsible for the both of them getting through this without causing too much damage.

And he knew that when it was all over, that Cass and especially Sam were going to hate themselves.

Dean wrapped the fingers of his right-hand around Castiel's hardness and began to stroke him off in unison to his thrusts into him.

In spite of everything that was happening, Dean couldn't stop himself from saying, "I want you to say my name and _only_ my name when you come, Cass."

Castiel sucked Sam fervently as Dean continued to fuck and stroke him, Sam's hands in his hair the whole while, his fingers running lovingly through it. It was all too much.

Sam could feel himself coming close, too, nearing the edge of ecstasy. Castiel looked _so_ fucking _hot_. He couldn't lie to himself anymore, either. He was actually _getting off_ to **Dean** fucking _Cass_ , though he tried not to look at Dean, especially into his eyes. It was too much like having sex with his own brother, although... if Castiel hadn't been around, he _knew_ he _**would've**_ approached _Dean_ , and that made him _sick_.

"Cass," Dean said in overdrive, moving faster and faster, harder and harder, making Castiel bleed all the more... "You feel so fucking good... better, tighter and hotter than any woman I've ever had... and you're so, so beautiful..."

When Dean began hitting Castiel's sweet spot in just the right place while stroking him off at the same time, it finally tipped him over the edge.

"Don't forget, I want you to say _my_ name," Dean demanded.

" _Dean_..." Castiel moaned, his eyes flashing with angelic light. "Oh-Oh my God, _Dean_ , _Sam!_ " His eyes lit up with angel fire, and his wings were briefest for the smallest amount of time. Sam had never seen Castiel's wings before... they were indiscernibly beautiful...

Castiel came into Dean's hand, and afterwards, Dean placed his newly-freed hand back on Castiel's hip, thrusting into him more as he fought for release.

He wasn't especially thrilled that Castiel had said Sam's name when he came, but it wasn't as if there was anything he could do about it.

"Cass," he said gruffly, yet tenderly. "When Sam comes you-you have to let him come in your mouth to break whatever spell it is you're under, okay?"

"O-Okay, Dean," Castiel said, and then went back to sucking off Sam as hard as he possibly could without gagging.

Sam was so close, so very close, and then he was there.

"Cass... oh, _**Cass!**_ " he moaned out, coming into Castiel's open mouth.

Castiel felt as Sam came down his throat, having no idea what to do. He thought back to what Dean had done with him, and forced himself to swallow in spite of the fact that he couldn't breathe.

That just left Dean.

"It's-It's starting to hurt again," Castiel said to Sam.

"Cass..." Sam whispered, already starting to feel horrible. "I know you're exhausted but it's almost over. Just... squeeze my hand when it hurts, alright?"

"Al-Alright," Castiel said as Sam took his left-hand into his right, before Castiel grasped at it, squeezing hard.

Dean knew Castiel needed to rest but his body wouldn't let him stop. He kept thrusting into the angel as hard and as fast as he could, gripping at his hips hard enough to leave imprints. With his knees he pushed Castiel's legs further apart with enough force to leave bruises.

Castiel squeezed at Sam's hand as hard as he could.

"Dean, you're hurting him!" Sam shouted.

Dean acted as though he hadn't heard a word Sam had said. He was too close to care, as horrible as it sounded. Any woman he had been with would testify to the fact that Dean enjoyed it rough, though that didn't mean Dean didn't have a gentle side... Castiel, he did something to Dean—drove him crazy with lust and love with his naiveté and gorgeousness and irrevocable innocence—he just couldn't resist himself.

Dean breathed out the words, "Cass... so sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"It's okay, Dean," Castiel whispered back, his voice full of pain. "I understand the sheer _need_ now..."

"Well I don't!" Sam said angrily. "Dean, you're practically ripping him in two!"

Dean couldn't immediately recall the fact that this was the third time Castiel had been taken in the past 24 hours, but when realization kicked in he slowed things down a bit, as difficult as it was to do.

Meanwhile, Castiel could feel himself becoming aroused again, and it made him feel disgusted with himself. He felt debauched, degraded...

He felt like a whore.

He let go of Sam's hand and instead used it to begin touching himself in the way that Dean had touched him earlier. Sam couldn't believe it.

Dean couldn't believe it, either, in spite of the fact that he _had_ given women multiple orgasms before.

As Dean continued to take him from behind, Castiel became all the more aroused until he was fully hard again.

"Dean, _please!_ " Castiel begged him. " _Fuck_ me! Fuck me _hard!_ "

Sam's jaw dropped out of utter shock.

That... hadn't sounded much like the Castiel they knew, although Castiel was feeling as though the angel they _had_ come to know and love was dead...

Castiel continued to stroke himself off in timing with Dean's thrusts into him, feeling—knowing—that he was going to orgasm a second time. It hurt so much, but there was something so deliciously satisfying about the sort of pain he was experiencing. It made him feel desired and loved and alive again all in one.

Dean was close, and it seemed Castiel was close again, too. The lights in the bunker began to flicker on and off, and they could hear the static from the nearest radios that Castiel had unintentionally turned on. The bathroom mirrors had also cracked.

Even if Castiel was powerless now, something about his angelic light was still with him. His grace, which Castiel felt he had lost, just like his powers. He felt like God was punishing him. Outside of Dean and Sam, his entire life on Earth had been one, big hell. When he wasn't with them, he wanted to be. Heaven and hell no longer mattered to him. All of the other angels no longer mattered to him.

 _God_ no longer mattered to him.

 _Nothing_ did, except the Winchesters...

Dean finally felt himself nearing his peak. He figured he probably would have come sooner if Sam hadn't been there naked and staring at him like he was some sort of psychopath. But that was beside the point.

"Cass... Cass, oh _**Cass**_ ," Dean said, speeding up all over again, moving harder again, though it seemed Castiel was getting off on the pain in the same way Dean was getting off to him. "Come with me..." Dean whispered to him.

"I-I'll try..."

Dean placed his hand over Castiel's, over the hand he was using to stroke himself with, relieving him of the responsibility. Dean was all too happy to help him come.

"Cass, I... oh _God_ , _**Cass!**_ " Dean exclaimed as he finally came into Castiel, who then came himself, calling Dean's name while proclaiming how much he loved him at the same time.

Castiel collapsed, his head resting in Sam's lap as he fought to regain his breathing. That horrible feeling he and Sam had been stricken with earlier was gone, though they felt horrible nonetheless.

Sam ran his fingers through Castiel's dark hair again, smoothly, lovingly. "It's all right, Cass... you're... you're going to be alright..."

But Sam wasn't. He covered his mouth and rapidly stood from the bed, running to the nearest bathroom and slamming the door behind him with force. Dean and Castiel both could hear him retching from the other side.

Castiel looked like a zombie, his eyes empty and seemingly dead.

"What have I done...?" he whispered. "My virtue really _is_ gone. I allowed you and Sam both to use my body in a way that an angel's body should _never_ be used... I-I'm not an angel, I'm not a human, I... I don't know _what_ I am anymore. I... I can only feel like a _whore_..."

"Ssh, Cass," Dean said, gripping Castiel by the shoulders and looking into his blue eyes. "Your virtue _isn't_ gone, and you're _not_ a whore, you hear me?"

Castiel remained silent and motionless.

Dean shook him a little. "Hey. Hey Cass, you listening to me? You understand?"

Castiel turned his head to the left, facing Dean once more from his seat on the bed.

There were tears in his eyes. _Actual_ tears. Castiel didn't cry. He never cried. He had promised himself that he never _would_ cry. If he had allowed himself to cry every time he was saddened about something, there wouldn't be enough tears in the world for him.

Still, he began to cry.

Dean pulled Castiel into his arms. Castiel wrapped his arms back around Dean, before the angel began to cry on his shoulder shortly thereafter.

"Ssh, Cass," Dean said as Castiel began to literally sob. Dean had never seen him like this before. It was as if Castiel's whole world had fallen apart.

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel, pulling him against his chest. "It's okay, Cass... you-you can cry. Let it out, let it all out..."

Dean couldn't help it. He began to cry, too, though it wasn't audible the way Castiel's sobbing was. With Castiel's head still on his shoulder, Dean caressed his back and kissed his forehead while Castiel just... wept.

It was almost a decade's worth of tears finally spilling out.

"Why won't God just _let_ me _die?_ " Castiel said earnestly.

"Because He knows you mean too much to Sam and me," Dean whispered as another tear streaked down his own face. "He knows that we can't live without you."

Sam came out of the bathroom, wordless as he picked up his clothes, turned around and began putting them back on.

He _hated_ himself for what he had done to Castiel, and to Dean. He couldn't even bring himself to _look_ at either of them as he walked out of the bedroom and paced down the hall into his own room, slamming the door behind him, hard.

Castiel then stood up, almost limping as he picked his own clothes off of the floor and attempted to put them back on. He nearly fell over.

"Cass," Dean said silently, zipping up his jeans and walking over to the angel. "Cass, you need to rest."

When Dean touched Castiel on the shoulder, Castiel shook his touch off, reacting as though he had PTSD.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted, backing away from Dean, acting revolted and afraid.

With all of his clothing now on with the exception of his tie, Castiel walked slowly to the doorway, seemingly in a lot of pain. He placed one hand on the wall, catching himself so that he wouldn't fall down.

"Cass..." Dean whispered again. "You... you need to lie down..."

"I can do that in my own room," the angel said back to him.

And then just like that, he was gone.

Dean knew none of them would be sleeping tonight.

 **000**

 **A/N:** Thanks for reading.

Again, please no flames!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** There's still sex in this, (between Dean and Cass) so be warned...

 **Unknown Reason**

000

Chapter 3

It was morning now.

Dean was seated at the Men of Letter's table which had a map of the world atop it. He was drinking from a glass that contained aged scotch, from the same bottle that Mr. Ketch had offered to him. He needed to go on a run to the liquor store, but unfortunately it was Sunday and the liquor stores didn't open until noon.

Sam walked in, his skin sore and somewhat reddened from how hard he had scrubbed himself in the shower the previous night. Dean had heard the water whenever it had been turned on each and every time someone had taken a shower. He himself had taken one and stayed in for almost an hour, Castiel pretty much the same, while Sam had practically used up all of the hot water. He had taken three or four showers, which Dean had timed to at least half an hour apiece.

Sam sat down at the table, looking downwards and saying nothing. He couldn't bring himself to so much as _glance_ at Dean.

And then things became even _more_ awkward when Castiel entered the room, walking slowly. He sat down at the table across from Dean, Sam seated to his left.

Like Sam and Dean, he said nothing.

The silence went on for what seemed like forever.

Sam _finally_ looked at Castiel, who looked back at him for a very brief moment.

That was all it took.

Sam stood up, grabbed the car keys from an adjacent table, and began walking up the stairs.

Finally, Dean spoke when his said, "Where are you going?"

Quickly, Sam replied, "Out to get smashed."

The door opened and shut.

Dean shrugged and continued to drink, already well on his way to being smashed.

He and Castiel remained wordless; Castiel staring down while Dean continued to drink away his pain.

Dean eventually retrieved another crystal glass, pouring a separate drink and then sliding it across the table to Castiel.

Castiel said nothing, but downed the contents of the glass nevertheless all in one swig.

After gaining enough liquid courage to speak, Dean said, "Cass... about last night, I..." 

"No," Castiel whispered harshly. "I don't want to talk about that _ever_ again." He finally looked Dean in the eyes. "And as for you and I, we are _through_."

"Cass, _please_ ," Dean said beseechingly. "Can't we at _least_ talk about this?"

"You are _done_ using me, Dean," Castiel whispered back to him. "I've allowed it to go on for years, and why God chose _me_ for this, I'll _never_ know, but what I _do_ know is that I can't endure it any longer." He shot Dean an angry yet empty look, as though the curse of living was Dean's fault. "My pain and suffering is more than I can bear. Everywhere on Earth I go I see nothing but death and destruction and devastation and I hate it. Death follows me wherever I go—it follows _you_ wherever you go—and if I thought I could kill myself and stay dead I would gladly do it, for I've been trapped in an endless nightmare and therefore condemned to _hell_."

"Cass, what are you even _saying?_ " Dean asked him. "You sound like you're _giving up._ What happened last night... that _wasn't_ anyone's fault except for _Jack's_. Sam and I _need_ you to help us stop him."

"You and Sam have never needed me... only each other."

"Cass, you—"

"No," Castiel repeated. "You won't be able to work with each other with me around. All I've _ever_ done is get in the way."

"We'll figure something out," Dean said sternly. "But nothing good's gonna come out of you feeling so damn sorry for yourself. All of this talk about death and wanting to die and stay dead, it's _selfish_. Cry me _another_ fuckin' river." He downed some more scotch and slammed the glass's base against the table.

Castiel's mouth fell open. "How can you even _think_ to speak to me like that after everything you've _done_ to me?!"

Castiel wasn't the only one who was angry. Dean was angry as hell, too.

He smirked at Castiel. "Do you wanna get married?"

"You know what?" Castiel said, " _Fuck_ _you_ , Dean." He stood up. "I am leaving."

"You're not going anywhere."

" _Excuse_ me?"

"You heard me," Dean replied after he had taken another drink. "I'm not letting you go anywhere while Jack's out there following you around."

"I'll take my chances."

"Do you want a repeat performance of last night _that_ badly?"

Castiel said nothing.

"Wait. Don't answer that. I really don't want to know..."

Castiel shot Dean another anger-filled look. "I _hate_ you."

"No, you don't," Dean said casually, drunk. "You _love_ me so much that it's _killing_ you inside, and I know this because _that's_ the way **I** feel about _you_."

"You don't know a damn thing about how I feel," Castiel replied spitefully. "You and Sam both have _completely_ humiliated me. I listened to 'angel radio' last night and the only reason the angels haven't already come for me is because Jack warded me against them."

"Oh, that's right," Dean said, nonchalant due to the amount of alcohol he had consumed. "Lucifer's love child loves _you_ — _so_ much that he wants to turn you into a filthy whore."

"Don't call me that!"

"Well," Dean began. "If the shoe fits."

"I _hate_ you," Castiel said again, his fists clenching tightly as he continued to stand, staring down into Dean's eyes with what could only be described as a genuine hatred.

 _He called me a whore_ , Castiel thought. _He called me a_ _ **filthy whore**_ _._

 _I'll_ _ **show**_ _him_...

Castiel's eyes lit up a golden shade of amber.

Dean stood up, spilling the half-full glass of scotch all over the table as he backed away from Castiel.

"What the _hell?_ " Dean shouted, shocked. "Jack, is that you...?"

Castiel shook his head. "No, it's _me_."

"But how? Y-Your eyes, they..."

And then Castiel thought back to the previous night...

 _The angel was in his room, lying on the bed, wishing that he could just sleep, wishing that he could just die._

 _He was also in so much pain that he could barely stand, much less walk._

 _And yet he had enjoyed himself during the 'threesome'..._

 _He.._ _ **hated**_ _himself.._

" _Why, Jack...? You were supposed to bring Paradise, and instead you've made my life hell. What good could_ _ **possibly**_ _come out of this...?"_

" _Ssh, all in good time, Father."_

 _Castiel looked up, afraid—afraid of Jack Kline—afraid that he might try to place another spell or whatever the hell it had been on him._

" _You don't need to be afraid of me," Jack continued, earnestly, "I love you, enough to know everything about you, everything that you want... I know your deepest, darkest desires. I was only giving you what you wanted: Sam and Dean Winchester."_

" _You stole my_ _ **virtue**_ _," Castiel replied silently. "You_ _ **set me up**_ _to be physically—and mentally—_ _ **violated**_ _and_ _ **desecrated**_ _and_ _ **tormented**_ _, not once but_ _ **three**_ _separate times. You've turned Dean and Sam_ _ **against**_ _one another, and me against them..." He groaned in pain as he stood up._

" _Here, let me..." Jack touched his index and forefingers against Castiel's forehead, healing him. "Now, take my hand."_

" _No," Castiel said to him. "_ _ **Please**_ _, no..._ _ **no**_ _more spells like what you did to Sam I last night. I'd rather_ _ **die**_ _."_

" _It's nothing like that," Jack said, extending his right-hand to Castiel. "I want to show you what your future can be. I want to show you Paradise."_

 _Castiel_ _ **wanted**_ _to see. He couldn't help himself, hesitantly reaching out to Jack and taking his hand._

 _Jack's eyes lit up with a golden light, as did Castiel's._

 _Castiel saw a house where Dean lived with who was apparently his wife. He had a young son, who Castiel was hugging after the boy had run up to him. Then Castiel was standing in the backyard, as Dean kissed him, and it seemed like Dean's wife actually_ _ **approved**_ _of their relationship, and she loved Castiel, too._

 _Sam had a wife, too, and a daughter. Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders while Sam kissed his hair as they watched the children play. Mary was there, too, smiling brightly as she talked to Sam's wife._

 _And then Castiel was in a bedroom, while Dean kissed him slowly, passionately._

" _I love you, Cass."_

" _I love you too, Dean."_

 _Then he was with Sam, kissing Sam's blonde-haired wife on the mouth while Sam ran his hands down Castiel's sides from behind, kissing his neck._

 _Afterwards he was in the front yard, where a car drove up and none other than Adam got out of the vehicle._

" _Uncle Adam!"_

 _The children ran up to him before Adam hugged them both, tightly. Mary waved to him, smiling still._

" _Father?"_

" _Jack," Castiel said to him, and then hugged him tightly._

 _There were no more monsters, and no more pain. It was better than Heaven._

 _It was... Paradise on Earth._

 _Castiel snapped back to reality when Jack released his hand._

" _Oh my God," Castiel sighed blissfully. "That was..."_

" _Paradise?"_

" _Yes..." Castiel whispered back._

" _That's your future so long as you stay on the path you're currently on," Jack said to him. "I know you're angry, but everything I've done for you really all was for the best. I had to make you see that."_

 _Castiel felt a sudden surge of power._

" _I've given you some of my power," Jack stated sincerely. "It won't last forever, but it should last you long enough."_

 _And then Jack was gone and Castiel was alone._

"Cass," Dean said as the angel snapped back to reality. "W-What's going on with you...?"

"Jack came to me last night," Castiel replied softly. "He... he showed me what my future could be. He showed me Paradise..."

"I don't give a _damn_ about what he showed you," Dean said, an angry expression on his face. "He's _pure_ _evil_ , or have you _already_ forgotten last night?"

"His intentions weren't evil..."

"Cass, some of the _worst_ things _imaginable_ are done with the best intentions," Dean said sharply.

Thinking back to what Jack had showed him the prior night, Castiel suddenly didn't feel as angry... and he felt horrible for some of the things he had said to Dean that morning, even if Dean didn't feel horrible for he had said to him.

"I... don't hate you, Dean..." he whispered. "I hate _myself_. I actually _enjoyed_ being desecrated by you and Sam, so you're right... I _am_ a whore..."

Dean's expressions softened. "I didn't mean that, Cass... I'm sorry I said that. I'm just so damn _angry_ over Jack and what he _did_ to you and Sam, and I keep seeing it over and over again... me walking into my room with Sam on top of you like that, kissing you, and having _sex_ with you, before I just had to make things even worse... I just... I _couldn't_ share you..."

"You didn't seem to have any problem with that in the future," Castiel muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"I almost don't want to know, but what is it exactly that you saw...?"

"You and Sam had families, children... you had your mother Mary and brother Adam back, and everyone loved one another. I loved _everyone_ and _everyone_ loved _**me**_..."

Dean didn't know what to say. "I... that sounds like a good thing to see but you realize Jack could've just shown you a bunch of hocus pocus in order to trick you, right?"

"No, it was _real_."

"Whatever." Dean sighed exasperatedly. "Do you currently have enough of Jack's mojo to take us to wherever Sam went so we can get to him before he wrecks my baby?"

"Yes," Castiel said.

"Then let's go," Dean said, walking around the table until he was standing next to the angel. "Where is he?"

Castiel closed his eyes. "The Lyon Saloon, Smith Center Kansas."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Leave it to Sam to pick the most popular bar in town where only douches go."

"He feels he'll blend in with all of the drunks that go there in the morning, especially given the fact that it's Sunday."

"How do you know that?"

"With Jack's power I can... sense other people's thoughts and feelings like I could before, only now the sensations are _much_ stronger."

" _Please_ stay **out** of my head," Dean asked him, frowning. "You know how much I _hate_ that."

"I'll try, but it's difficult not to," Castiel said in response.

"Well," Dean began. "Beam me up, Scotty."

Castiel nodded and touched Dean's shoulder, his eyes glowing that same shade of bright amber before he and Dean teleported to the bar where Sam was currently located at.

They were now standing next to Dean's 67' Impala, which was parked behind the bar.

"I'd almost forgotten what that was like," Dean muttered, and then straightened out his dark, plaid over shirt. "I'll bet Sam has already drank half the bar, knowing the way he drinks when he's _this_ down..."

"You're drunk too, Dean."

He smirked at Castiel. "I had a pretty fucked-up night myself."

Castiel rolled his eyes. "You're always drinking. Luckily for you every time I've healed you I've healed your liver."

"Really?" Dean blinked at him. "Thanks."

Castiel and Dean began walking across the parking lot, reaching the backdoor before Castiel opened it and he and Dean walked inside.

They spotted Sam almost immediately.

He was seated at the bar, taking shots from a line of shot glasses, which were located on the bar top alongside the numerous numbers of various drinks he'd already consumed.

Sam had already handed over the keys.

When he'd finished three shots in a row, he pointed down at the empty shot glasses and ordered several more rounds.

He just wanted to _forget_ , but no matter how much he drank he couldn't get the images of the night before out of his head.

 _What have I done...?_ he thought, _I_ _ **violated**_ _my best-friend and had a_ _ **threesome**_ _with him and my own_ _ **brother**_ _. I tried to_ _ **kiss**_ _Dean._

He took another shot.

"Sam..."

Sam froze. That had been Castiel's voice.

He turned around on the stool.

"Cass, Dean, I... please, just... leave me alone..." He couldn't even _look_ at them. "How... how did you find me so fast?"

"Cass found you," Dean replied, awkwardly. He wasn't feeling especially comfortable, either.

"He got all of his powers back?"

Dean sighed. "It's a long story... C'mon, Sam, we need to get you out of here before Cass and I have to scrape you off of the floor."

Castiel's eyes flashed a bright shade of gold, and then Sam appeared afraid as hell—even more afraid than he had ever been of Lucifer.

Castiel touched his fingertips to Sam's forehead, and Sam suddenly felt completely sobered up.

"As a matter of fact..." Castiel muttered, turning to face Dean before touching his forehead likewise.

"Woah, what the..." Dean began, unable to find the words. "Dude, _not_ cool."

"Dean...!" Sam exclaimed, and then pulled out a knife, "It's _him_ , it's _Jack!_ We _have_ to _kill him!_ "

"Slow down there, cowboy," Dean said, putting some space between Sam and Castiel. "It's _Cass_. Jack just... powered him up a little like he did that time in the park with him and Kelly."

"Wait." Sam's brow furrowed. "Jack was _there_ last night? In our _bunker?_ With _Cass?_ "

"Yeah." Dean exhaled a breath of air. "Apparently he's even more fixated on Cass than we thought..."

"After last night, I just..." Sam whispered, averting his eyes, "Maybe we should back off..."

"All of Heaven, Earth and hell alike—angels, hunters and demons, even monsters—will never 'back off' as long as they know he's out there," Castiel said, sounding as though he actually _cared_ about him.

"What's wrong with you, Cass?" Sam asked the angel. "Have you lost your mind? Have you forgotten what he made us... _do_ to each other last night?"

"Of course I haven't," Castiel whispered regretfully. "But if I don't watch out for him, who will?"

Dean looked down and into Castiel's eyes. "Maybe when he rapes one of us he'll understand."

Castiel thought about Dean's words, unable to even _imagine_ what he would do with himself were _he_ to do something like _that_ to Sam or Dean. He _finally_ realized how truly horrible the two brothers must have felt...

"Hey," a random and very drunk onlooker said to them from a nearby table. "This ain't a gay bar."

Castiel raised his hand, before Dean grasped his wrist to keep him from smiting the man.

"No, Cass," Dean said to him. "...allow _me_." He punched the man in the face.

The three of them were all thrown out and banned from the bar, after Castiel had insisted he would drive Sam and Dean home given he was the only one of them who didn't currently smell like an open bar.

Castiel had also had to persuade the bartender _not_ to call the cops after Sam's knife had come into view, though the persuasion was more like angelic coercion as Castiel had used his power to address the issue.

Then they left.

 **000**

 _Three hours later..._

Sam, Dean, and Castiel were all in the Impala.

Dean was driving, Sam was riding shotgun, and Castiel was seated in the backseat.

An awkward silence filled the vehicle.

Finally, Castiel said, "You missed the exit," sounding bemused.

Dean nodded. "That's because it's finally after noon, which mean I can go to the liquor store."

Sam sighed. "No objections here."

"I have an objection," Castiel replied, unhappy. "I'm _not_ going to allow _either_ of you to _drink yourselves to death_ because of _me_..." He frowned, eyeing Dean through the rearview mirror. "Not to mention the fact that neither of you are especially pleasant to be around during your various states of intoxication," he added sternly. "Not to mention the additional fact that _I_ should be the one driving..."

"And as for your various states of intoxication..." He continued to look at Dean through the rearview mirror. "It was only this morning that you called me a _filthy whore_..."

"You said _what_ to him...?" Sam said to Dean, sounding pissed.

"Yeah, well..." Dean went back to looking at the road. "I was sort of... drunk..."

"My point exactly," Castiel stated firmly.

"Maybe we should listen to him..." Sam whispered back.

Dean briefly looked to his right. "What are you now, Castiel's bitch?" he said, mockingly. "You hate yourself so much for what you _did_ to him last night that you're just going to agree with _everything_ he says for the rest of your life?"

"I'm no one's bitch," Sam replied, angry.

"...bitch," Dean muttered.

"Jerk," Sam muttered back to him.

"I think I should... go," Castiel whispered silently.

" _What?_ " Dean asked him.

" _No_ ," Sam said, "You can't just... go off by yourself with Lucifer's abomination out there. If he could... you know... then what _else_ do you think he's capable of?"

"Sam's right," Dean agreed. "You're safer with us."

"And you're both safer _without_ me," Castiel responded. "Sam, what you said was partially right. What if... what if Jack appeared and then decided he wanted me to put a gun to one of your heads?"

"You really sound like you don't believe your own hype," Sam replied, raising an eyebrow suspiciously. "What's up with you, Cass?"

Dean sighed and gripped the steering wheel tight. "He claims Jack showed him 'Paradise' last night after we all... yeah..."

"Cass, he would have showed you _anything_ to manipulate you into submission," Sam stated.

Dean nodded. "That's exactly what I said."

Quickly, Castiel said, "It was _real_ ," going on to say, "I could _feel_ it."

"Yeah whatever," Dean said as he pulled into the liquor store's crowded parking lot. "And Cass, please no more of your 'sober-up power-ups.' That's the ultimate violation."

"You two don't know a _damn_ **thing** about _**violation**_ ," Castiel said harshly.

Neither Dean nor Sam could say anything at first. Castiel was right.

"You two knock yourselves out." Castiel's eyes lit up a bright shade of golden yellow. "I'm going to find Jack..."

And then—just like that—Castiel was gone.

"Shit..." Dean sighed again. "I'm not gonna lie... Jack scares the living _**hell**_ out of me and I _don't_ like knowing that Cass could be out there somewhere with ' _the Good Son_ '."

"Agreed."

"Hopefully he'll come back for another 'sober-up power-up'." Dean forced a chuckle. "If you and I get drunk enough, I mean."

"Why don't we just call out to him when we get back...?"

"It doesn't matter. With Jack out there... he won't answer..."

 **000**

At the Men of Letter's bunker, Sam and Dean were once again seated at what Dean called 'the map table'.

They were both drinking, although Dean had gotten a head start as Sam had firstly tried to find a case for them to work on his laptop.

But the brothers had both decided that it would be better if they set the cases out and let the other American hunters handle it. They had both decided that they wouldn't be able to focus.

Hell, _wordlessly_ they had both decided that they couldn't _function_ when _neither_ of them could think about _anything_ except for Cass.

It had been a little over six hours since they had last seen him, and the both of them were exceptionally worried about their angel.

"What if Jack's got Cass?" Dean spurted out, buzzed out of his mind.

Sam wasn't as buzzed as Dean, though he was getting there. "I... don't know, Dean..."

Dean took another drink of his own volition. "What if Cass is suffering right now? What if Jack has Cass and is torturing him as we speak? What if he's... dead again...?"

"I'm sure he's fine," Sam said hesitantly. He felt overly concerned, too.

Dean downed another glass of whiskey and then drank a gulp from his Jäger Bomb, which he usually only partook of when he wanted to party with some random woman from a random bar.

"Damn, Dean," Sam said to him. "Slow down."

"It's not my fault you can't keep up," Dean said, slurring to a degree. "Besides, Cass said that every time he healed us he'd healed our livers."

"Oh," Sam said simply. "Well... that was nice of him."

"If Cass is okay..." Dean began, looking down into his glass, "I mean, if he's _really_ okay after everything... then what are we gonna do?"

"What do you mean, Dean?"

"I mean we can't _both_ have him..."

"Look," Sam replied uneasily, "I-I never said that I wanted Cass like that, and... even if I _did_... well, we both know _you're_ his favorite..."

"I really don't think that matters anymore, Sammy." Dean chugged from his Jäger Bomb until the glass was empty. Sam sighed. If Castiel didn't come back and 'sober-up power-up' Dean again, he was going to have one hell of a nasty hangover...

Dean went on to say, "I may be his favorite, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you, too. I've _never_ even _seen_ you so much as **look** at someone the way you looked at Cass last night—not even _Jess_... Damn, the sheer love in your eyes... it was pure and unconditional and at that moment I _knew_ that if _I_ wanted Cass I'd have to _fight_ for him..."

Sam said nothing.

Dean continued. "You know, I used to think all relationships were conditional—even yours and mine—but with Cass I feel so wanted and so _loved_ , I just... I feel like anything's possible, you know? Like I could go to the Moon and back."

Sam shrugged lightly. That... hadn't made of lot of sense. "I guess..." He took a shot of Jägermeister, and then felt even more lightheaded.

"I meant what I said, though," Dean went on. "If you _ever_ touch Cass again, I'll kick your ass."

"And I meant what I said," Sam added, disgruntled. "His choice."

Dean smirked at him. "I thought you said you didn't like him in that way?"

"Fine," Sam replied, officially drunk enough to confess to almost anything. "I _love_ him. I **love** _Castiel_. You satisfied...?"

"And did you enjoy yourself last night? Cause' Cass sure did."

Normally Sam would have said, 'none of your business', but instead he said, "I _did_ enjoy myself, and I _hate_ myself for it. I... hate us _all_ for it..." He took another shot. "Castiel's _not_ the only one who feels violated and like his virtue was _stolen_ from him."

"Still, what are we gonna do? Split him in half?" Dean felt extremely drunk. "Though, I'm sure you can agree with me when I say he has _the_ tightest ass _**ever**_. If he was here right now... man, I'd _love_ to just bend him over this table and—"

" _Stop_ ," Sam interrupted him. "Too much information, Dean. I may be under the influence, too, but I still think this conversation is _highly_ inappropriate, not to mention disre... dis... oh, hell..."

Dean forced a chuckle. "Disrespectful?"

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Disrespectful to Cass."

"It's not like he's here," Dean said to him, while Castiel watched he and Sam from the background, invisible. "He's probably out _partying_ and celebrating with Lucifer Jr.," Dean continued, earnestly, "While Jack meanwhile tries to figure out who he wants to recruit into _raping_ Cass _next_. Hell, maybe _Jack_ himself will have a go at him?"

" _Sick_ ," Sam whispered, disgusted. "Reminds me of when _Lucifer_ kissed _me_."

"Oh, now that's _really_ sick, too." Dean shuddered. "Not as sick as Cass being raped by Lucifer's son, but still sick."

"But Lucifer was disguised as _Jess_... _!_ I _never_ wouldn't made out with him...!"

"Keep telling yourself that, Sam," Dean replied, seemingly amused. "Everyone knows that Lucifer's always had a thing for you."

Sam huffed. "He's always had a thing for all three of us—you, me, _and_ Cass."

Dean huffed likewise. "I'm scared that Lucifer might come back, I mean if Jack finds a way to open up the time rift again, _or_ if Lucifer somehow figures it out from the other side."

"You're not alone in that," Sam said with a sigh. "What do you think he... you know, _did_ to Mom?"

"We agreed we _weren't_ gonna talk or 'theorize' about that," Dean said, slurring his words.

Sam smirked at him. "We also agreed we _weren't_ gonna talk about Cass."

"And when he was dead we didn't." Dean smirked back at him. "But now he's back and we've all pretty much got the fuckin' ' _ **chitters'**_ around each other."

"...yeah," Sam muttered. He didn't feel up to arguing.

Plus, Dean was right.

Dean stood up and almost instantly lost his footing. "I'm gonna hit the hay. I don't feel so good..."

"Well, yeah, you sort of... drank a couple pints," Sam said under his breath. "You're probably more than three times the legal limit. You're even worse than Bobby."

"Thanks for the compliment, Sammy," Dean replied, stumbling across the large room toward the hall.

Sam stayed at the 'map table' and drank several more rounds until he eventually passed out at the table.

Invisible, Castiel sighed deeply and shook his head. Dean's drinking had been bad enough as it was, and now Sam had joined in.

And Castiel knew it was all his fault.

Not to mention Castiel's having heard everything Sam and Dean had said to one another, including Dean's references to his 'tight ass' and wanting to 'bend him over the table'... and that was only the 'G' rated version...

He had peeked into Dean's mind and seen all of his fantasies, including the one in which Dean and himself had been in an empty strip club wherein Dean was seated in the front seat while Castiel danced for him on stage, on a silver _pole_ of all things...

Sam's thoughts had been running wild, too, as Castiel had seen Sam's thoughts as well, including the ones with Castiel on his knees while he had 'sucked Sam off', as well as another more disturbing fantasy in which Castiel was in handcuffs—not to mention the 'threesome' with him and his dead girlfriend, Jess...

Thank God they couldn't see what was in _his_ mind...

But Jack had and could, and he'd gotten the 'NC-17' version right off the bat.

Castiel could feel his powers waning the more he used them, remembering what Jack had said about how they should last 'long enough'.

" _Jack_..." Castiel called out.

"You called?"

Castiel turned around. "How can I _stop_ this?"

"You can't," Jack replied with ease. "As you once said to Dean and Sam, destiny can't be changed—all roads lead to the same destination."

"So it's their destiny to drink themselves _sick_ , the whole while fantasizing about _sexual_ relations with an _angel?_ "

Jack walked in front of Castiel and stopped when he had reached Sam's form, running his fingertips through Sam's hair as Sam slept with his head on the table. "Maybe," he said simply.

" _Don't touch him_ ," Castiel said harshly. "You've done enough."

"Oh 'Cass'," Jack said, and then turned around to face the angel. "You're not as innocent as you think you are. As you know I can see into your thoughts, too. Your memories, your dreams, your nightmares... I wonder what your precious Winchesters would think if they knew they weren't the _only_ Winchesters you've 'fantasized' about."

"I was dying," Castiel said silently, clenching his hands into tight fists. "I didn't know what I was thinking."

"After you were stabbed by the Lance of Michael, Mary reached out to you and _all_ you could think of was _how_ much you would have _liked_ her to _kiss you goodbye_." Jack smiled at him. "How much you would have liked them _all_ to kiss you goodbye one after the other. As you gagged on your own vomit, your final thoughts were of how much you loved all three of them."

" _Please_ leave Mary out of this."

"She will be back," Jack replied, seemingly honest. "But don't worry—it won't turn into a foursome, in spite of how much Mary really _did_ want to kiss you goodbye. She finds your vessel extremely attractive."

"Just _stop_ ," Castiel said back. "I-I don't want to know what I know as it is..."

"Not even about Paradise?"

"I understand that humans have to go through hell in order to enter Heaven." Castiel looked at Jack seriously. "What I don't understand is why _me_ —a low-ranking _solider_ angel _without_ its power, not even _welcome_ in the Kingdom of Heaven—could possibly play such a colossal role in achieving Paradise on Earth."

Jack smiled at him again. "You and I are going to save the world, Father. You may _think_ you belong to the Winchesters, but... as long as I'm around, you _know_ your ass is _mine_. Wherever and _whenever_ you go—Earth, Heaven, Purgatory or hell—I'll _always_ be there... waiting in the shadows, watching over you..."

" _Why_ _ **me?!**_ "

"Sam asked Lucifer that very same question. Well, in his words: ' _because it_ _ **had**_ _to be you, Castiel. It always_ _ **had**_ _to be_ _ **you**_.'"

And then Jack was gone.

"What do you _want_ from me?!" Castiel shouted as he looked up, speaking not to Jack but to _God_. " _What_ the _hell_ do you _want_ from **me?!** "

But there was no answer.

God had forsaken him.

Again.

The light in Dean's room began to flicker, and Castiel became instantaneously worried that Jack was in there, doing something bad to him, something like what he had done to him and Sam the night before.

Slowly, Castiel walked into the hall, placing his hand on the door and then opening it fully.

He sighed the sigh of relief when it appeared that Dean was alone, on his back with his eyes closed, passed out.

Castiel walked toward the bed, experiencing an overwhelming feeling of love and devotion as he looked down at Dean.

He continued to look down, knowing he needed to pull another, what was it called? Oh—that was right—a 'sober-up power-up'.

"Dean," he whispered, running a hand back through Dean's hair. He felt tempted, as though he was getting that 'strange' feeling again—the one he had first experienced when he and Dean had been together for the first time... Dean had called it 'being in heat', which Castiel _did_ understand.

He ran the back of his hand across Dean's face. Dean stirred ever so slightly, before Castiel leaned over him and kissed his forehead. Afterwards, he ran the back of his hand alongside Dean's face once again, fighting the urge to take what he so desperately wanted. However it wasn't enough.

So without another thought, Castiel placed one of his palms on Dean's chest, before he leaned down at kissed him on the mouth.

Dean's eyes flashed opened, and he sat up—practically having bolted upright in his bed as if he was having a horrible nightmare, and that he was.

"Ssh, Dean," Castiel whispered. "It's just me."

"Oh my God, I..." Dean appeared petrified. "I was having the flashbacks of hell in my nightmares again," he said, earnestly, "Only it was much worse this time. You and me were in hell together and I was being forced to watch Lucifer torture you in some kind of dark chamber where we were knee-deep in blood. The things Lucifer _did_ to you... there aren't words. He tortured _you_ to torture **me**..."

"It wasn't real, Dean," Castiel said to him. "I could sense something was wrong but my power is waning... and I'm simply no match for Jack's superior powers."

"Wait." Dean furrowed his brow. "Are you saying that Jack is giving me _nightmares_ now...?"

"Quite possibly," Castiel said, and then exhaled a deep breath of air. "I think all of this is some kind of test specifically catered to me... I only wish I could make sense of it. God's not talking and Heaven doesn't even know I'm alive. Jack said he would follow me to the ends of the Earth and I can't help but feel like I'm putting you and Sam in harm's way just by being near you." He looked around the room. "He could be here, watching us right this very second, and we wouldn't even know..."

"Can't you sense when he's near?"

Castiel nodded. "I... I think so."

"Well?"

"He's not here."

Dean pursed his lips. "There's something you're not telling me."

Castiel sighed again. "He... was here, shortly before I entered your room... _in_ short, he said he would follow me no matter where or when I went to..."

"Or _when?_ "

"Dean, I could time travel back to the beginning and Jack would be there waiting for me when I got there." Castiel shook his head, running a hand back through his dark hair. "I can't hide from him. Everywhere I go, he's there."

"What about Heaven?" Dean asked him.

"He said he would follow me there, too," Castiel said silently. "He told me that even if I already felt I belonged to you and Sam that 'my ass' was **still** _his_."

Dean became angry. "Hey," he said, placing his right-hand on Castiel's shoulder. "You don't belong to him."

Castiel forced a chuckle. "Maybe I _do_." He shrugged lightly. "Maybe this was my destiny all along..."

"Nothing's set in stone, Cass. Destiny's what you make of it." Dean squeezed Castiel's shoulder. "And I refuse to believe that Chuck— _God_... would create you with the sole purpose of turning you into Jack's bitch."

Castiel shrugged again. "Well, I suppose," he said, honestly, "that I'm more than used to being called _your_ bitch, and your 'love slave', your 'boyfriend'. 'The angel in the dirty trench coat who was in love with you.' I never argued with anyone who called me such things as I knew it was sort of... yes, true, but... I just don't know anything _about_ anything anymore."

"Yeah, well," Dean began. "You're not the only one, and... damn, I feel like _crap_."

"Let me," Castiel said, his eyes flashing amber as he placed the tips of his index and forefingers together against Dean's forehead.

Dean sobered up instantly.

"Woah," Dean said, rubbing briefly at his forehead, "I don't know whether or not to kiss you or punch you when you do that."

"Dean," Castiel said to him. "Maybe we should, how do I say this?—'cool it', for a while..."

"Where's Sam?" Dean asked out of nowhere.

"He's... presently indisposed," Castiel replied, and then turned around. "I should go 'sober-up power-up' him, too."

"Wait," Dean said, grasping Castiel's wrist from behind, tugging at his arm. "Let him sleep it off."

Castiel sighed and rolled his eyes. "Dean, is sex really _all_ you think about?"

Dean's brow furrowed. "Where did you get that?"

"I think you're 'confusing _reality_ with _porn'_ again."

"Well," Dean said, "Sometimes reality _is_ porn."

"And the thought of me 'stripping' to bad 80's music in front of you is what?" Castiel tilted his head slightly. "Reality, or porn?"

Slowly, Dean said, "Porn," and then went on to say, "What did I tell you about staying out of my head?" 

"I'm sorry, Dean, but with Jack's power your thoughts sound like they're screaming at me."

Dean huffed. "And what am I thinking now?"

"You want me to leave Sam passed-out at the table so that you and I can engage in sexual intercourse again." Castiel averted his eyes. "Now tell me what I'm thinking."

"You're wondering if porn really _would_ be better than reality."

Castiel said nothing. That hadn't been exactly what he had been thinking about, but it had been pretty damn close nevertheless.

"Cass," Dean continued, standing. "You're the one who went all 'Sleeping Beauty' with me."

"I... don't understand the reference..."

Dean cupped Castiel's face in his hands and then made a move to kiss the angel, though Castiel initially resisted.

"Dean," Castiel whispered softly. "I-I can't..."

"Yes you can," Dean whispered back.

"But after last night, I..." Castiel didn't know what to say. He wanted Dean to kiss him and to kiss Dean back so badly. "I can't even face myself in the mirror, for I hate what I see in it."

"I feel the same way," Dean said silently. "But like I said, that wasn't your fault."

"I should have stayed dead."

" _Stop_ saying that," Dean said, sternly. "Let's just take a moment to set all of the crap aside, a moment for _ourselves_."

Dean kissed Castiel again, who finally succumbed. Castiel's head fell back as Dean continued to kiss him. He kissed Dean back wholeheartedly, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck.

"D-Dean," Castiel stuttered as Dean pulled his trench coat down and off before going to work on his tie.

Dean and Castiel made out for a while longer, until Dean pulled away from him for a brief moment. He began to unbutton Castiel's shirt after he had thrown the striped, blue tie to the floor.

He continued to take Castiel's clothes off, pulling the black jacket off of him along with his white, button down shirt. That only left the pants.

Then Dean began taking off his own clothes, starting with his dark green over shirt. He took his clothing off until only his jeans remained.

Afterwards, Dean pushed Castiel into the nearest wall and attacked the angel's mouth with his own. He slid his right-hand into Castiel's black pants before Castiel moaned with pleasure as Dean touched him.

"D-Dean," Castiel said again. "We really shouldn't be doing this..."

Dean said, "There's no one here to tell you otherwise," and then went on to say, "Besides, I can _feel_ how much you want this..."

Dean kissed the side of Castiel's neck, pushing Castiel against the wall as hard as he could. He bent his knees and pulled Castiel's pants down, before he stood up and unzipped his jeans.

"Shit," Dean muttered.

"What's wrong...?"

"I don't have any lube."

"Oh," Castiel said simply. "Sam didn't, either, he just used his saliva."

" _Please_ don't talk about Sam while we're doing this."

"That's what Sam said about you."

Dean's thoughts were screaming at Castiel. He could hear them all.

 _God, I want to fuck you. I want to fuck you_ _ **so**_ _bad._ _ **Please**_ _don't ask me to stop. I only want to_ _ **fuck you**_ _. You're so hot and sexy and gorgeous. I'm going to fuck you against this wall. I can't even wait to get into bed. Please, just_ _ **let**_ _me_ _ **fuck you.**_

 _God_ , Castiel thought to himself. Dean really did have a one-track mind.

"Turn around," Dean said in a demanding tone of voice.

Castiel did as he had been instructed, remembering what their first time together had been like. It hadn't exactly been romantic, and it had hurt—a lot—but as he'd said before, he knew none of it was Dean's fault.

"Oh, _Dean_ ," Castiel moaned when Dean pushed a set of fingers into him from behind. "Ah, I... ah, oh Dean..."

"Cass," Dean moaned likewise, kissing the angel's back as Castiel began to push his hips back in timing with the motions of Dean's hand. He kissed the side of Castiel's neck from behind as he continued to finger-fuck him, using his free hand to keep Castiel against the wall.

"I keep forgetting that you don't sweat," Dean said to him. "Huh. That's kind of strange."

"I'm sorry if that—if that b-bothers you..."

Dean shook his head. "It doesn't, it's just one more thing I'm not used to."

Once he felt that he had prepared Castiel enough, he told him to turn back around. Castiel did as he had been told, before Dean picked up Castiel's left-leg and wrapped in around his waist.

"I've always wanted to try this," Dean whispered hotly, and then picked up Castiel's other leg, wrapping both of the angel's legs around his waist. He held Castiel up against the wall with his left-arm, using his right-hand to position his hardness between Castiel's legs. Then he pushed himself into him and began to literally fuck him into the wall.

"Dean...! Oh-Oh my God, I feel... so-so very strange, when you do this to me..."

He wrapped his legs around Dean's waist, tightly, pulling him close.

"Am I hurting you?" Dean asked with genuine concern.

Castiel nodded. "Y-Yes, but... it feels good at the same time..."

"I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have," Dean whispered to him. "So if you're in pain I want you to tell me and I'll stop."

"No," Castiel replied, sexily, "It feels... it feels... good... I just, ah... ah... I just feel _so_ strange... like my body is changing... like _I'm_ changing..."

Dean pulled out of him and let him down from the wall, while Castiel panted like a bitch in heat. He grabbed Castiel and threw him down onto the bed, getting on top of him thereafter.

"Dean, _please_ ," Castiel begged him. "D-Don't stop now..."

Dean kissed him, and then pushed himself inside of the angel again before he began to take him once more. He spread Castiel's legs a little and placed them on his shoulders, pinning his knees against his chest.

Dean kissed him again, while Castiel continued to pant and moan. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, kissing him ardently.

"I _love_ you, Cass..." Dean whispered between kisses. "I-I really do, _so_ much..."

Castiel sighed softly when Dean kissed his neck, sucking the skin into his mouth.

Castiel breathed out the words, "Ah... ah, I-I love you, too, Dean..."

" _God_ , you're always so _tight_ ," Dean said to him. "How do you feel?"

"I... I feel good, Dean," Castiel whispered back. "What about you? Am I... ah, giving you pleasure...?"

"What kind of question is that?" Dean asked quietly. "Of _course_ you are... I've never had more pleasure in my _life_."

"Well," Castiel replied, "that's saying something..."

"Yeah, it really _is_."

Dean and Castiel stopped what they were doing.

That... hadn't been either of their voices.

And in the door's hollow stood none other than Sam Winchester.

His fists were tightly clenched into tight balls at his sides, while he looked at Dean as though he genuinely hated him.

Drunk, Sam said, "Dean, you're a good for nothing _**bastard**_ ," and then looked into Castiel's blue eyes from across the room. "And as for _you_... you really _are_ **nothing** but a _**filthy**_ _ **whore**_."

Sam walked away and slammed the door behind him.

"Dean," Castiel whispered to him. "Maybe I should go talk to him..."

"Not until we're finished," Dean said before he began to move again.

Even though the general mood had been spoiled, Castiel _still_ wanted to finish, too.

"Dean," Castiel whispered again. "Please... touch me, down there..."

Dean nodded and then wrapped the fingers of his right-hand around Castiel's hardness, stroking him off in timing with his thrusts.

"Oh, Dean," Castiel moaned loudly. "You feel so-so good..."

"So do you," Dean said as he continued to take Castiel. He grasped Castiel's right-hand with his left and pinned his wrist down to the bed, above his head. Castiel used his free hand to grab the back of Dean's neck, pulling him down for another enthusiastic kiss.

Dean then pulled Castiel up from the bed, sitting on his knees while Castiel's knees were meanwhile spread apart on either side of him. He grasped hold of the angel's thighs and began to rock Castiel up and down, up and down... until Castiel got the hang of it and began moving on his own.

Dean fisted one of his hands into Castiel's hair and pulled his head back, kissing his neck once more while Castiel continued to moan, loudly.

"Dean, I-I'm almost..." Castiel panted. "I think I'm about to... ah, I'm about to... to..."

"Come?"

"Yes..."

Castiel felt the friction between their bodies, his erection trapped between their hard abdomens as Dean continued to take him. Dean was becoming rough again, though Castiel really didn't care. He felt amazing. He wrapped both of his arms around Dean's neck again before they kissed some more.

"You're drooling," Dean whispered with a smile. "Is it that good for you?"

"Yes!" Castiel shouted back as he impaled himself downwards and onto Dean's hard cock, rocking up against him as his head fell back while Dean kissed and licked at his neck the whole while. Then he shoved his thumb down Castiel's open mouth for a moment as a thin wire of saliva ran down from the corner of the angel's mouth. A single tear ran down Castiel's face, though this time it wasn't from pain so much as it was from pleasure.

"Cass," Dean whispered into his ear, "You're so beautiful like this, you have no idea..."

"Dean, I-I'm about to, ah..." Castiel's eyes flashed a bright white and his wings were visible for the briefest of moments. They seemed just out of reach to Dean, appearing as though the angel's wings were **actually** _wrapped around him_. It was the closest to Castiel's wings that he had ever been.

 _Beautiful_ , Dean thought to himself.

Castiel moaned again, until... " _Oh my God_ , _**Dean...!**_ "

Castiel came between their bodies as he moaned into Dean's mouth, kissing him fervently the whole while.

Dean continued to rock Castiel up and down in his lap while Castiel rode through the aftershocks. He was close, too, so very close...

"Cass, I love you..." Dean said against Castiel's lips, kissing him still more. "Oh, _Cass_... _**Cass...!**_ "

And then Dean came, too, filling Castiel full of hot, sticky semen.

Dean and Castiel slowed down to a halt, both of them breathing heavily and gasping for breath.

Castiel cupped Dean's face with both hands and pulled him in for another kiss, this time slower and more loving than any of the previous times they'd made out.

Dean laid Castiel down on the bed and pulled out of him, noting the fact that Castiel had _still_ bled a little... Dean hated himself for it, but at least it seemed as though Castiel wasn't in too much pain anymore like he had been after the previous time they'd had sex.

Dean laid down on the bed next to Castiel, pulling the angel into his arms.

"Wow," Dean said as he tried to catch his breath. "That was... incredible..."

"Yes," Castiel agreed wholeheartedly. "It was... but still..."

Dean almost didn't want to ask. "But still _what?_ "

"Sam, he... he saw us..." Castiel whispered sadly. "He called you and bastard, and me a whore..."

Castiel's head was resting on Dean's chest, while Dean ran his fingers lovingly through Castiel's dark hair. He kissed Castiel's forehead, pulling him close.

"Sam has nothing to do with this," Dean said to him. "He'll... he'll get used to the idea... he's just... well—"

"Jealous," Castiel said for him, sounding saddened still more. "I hate that he had to see us like that..." he said, running a hand back through his hair before he stood and began to pick up his clothing from the floor.

"Hey," Dean said from the bed. "What are you doing?"

Castiel sighed. "I'm... going to go talk to Sam..."

Dean begged to differ... "No, you're not."

"You can't stop me, Dean..."

Castiel pulled up his pants, zipping them back up and then buckling them.

"Yes, I can," Dean insisted, standing.

Castiel turned around and touched his fingertips to Dean's forehead. Dean instantly fell back down to the bed, asleep.

Afterwards, Castiel gathered the rest of his clothing from the floor and gradually put all of it back on, finishing things up with his tie.

And then he walked out of Dean's room, opening the door and then closing it behind him.

 **000**

Sam was in his room, lying on his bed on his back, feeling like shit.

He'd heard Dean's and Cass's moans all the way from the 'map table', and then again from his own room. They had been _extremely_ loud.

Still, Sam didn't know why he would have expected anything different.

There was a silent knock on his door.

"Dean, I _really_ don't want to talk to you right now."

The door cracked open. "It's only me," Castiel replied softly.

Sam frowned at him. "I don't want to talk to you, either. Go back to Dean and leave me alone."

"Sam, I..." Castiel really didn't know what to say. "I am sorry that you had to see that."

Castiel walked further into the room, while Sam meanwhile turned onto his side so that he wouldn't have to face the angel.

Castiel sat down on the bed, placing a hand on Sam's arm. Sam shook off his touch.

"I said to leave me alone."

"What exactly is it that you _want_ from me?" Castiel asked him.

"I don't know," Sam replied silently. "I guess I was stupid enough to actually _believe_ you might choose _me_ over _**Dean**_ , but obviously I was wrong. He's _**always**_ been your _**favorite**_."

"That doesn't mean I love you any less, Sam..."

"Fuck you, Cass."

Castiel touched Sam's forehead softly in the same way he had touched Dean's, only instead of putting Sam to sleep he had pulled another 'sober-up power-up'.

Sam instantly sat up, but drunk or sober he didn't feel any less horrible. "Cass, did you _have_ to do that?"

"You were being mean..."

"Big goddamn deal," Sam said under his breath. "The _least_ you and Dean could've done was to get a room somewhere. You didn't _have_ to fuck him _here_ , knowing _full_ _well_ that there was a possibility that I could come to and _hear_ you, _**see**_ you..."

"It... wasn't my idea."

"So you're blaming _everything_ on my brother? _None_ of it's _your_ fault? You don't know _how_ to say _no_ to him...?"

Castiel exhaled a deep breath of air. "I've... never really been especially good at saying 'no' to either of you, _especially_ not to Dean."

"All the more reason for you to get the _hell_ out of my room and go back to his."

Castiel looked at Sam beseechingly. "What can I do to _fix_ this?"

"There's nothing you can do." Sam smirked at him. "You made your choice."

"I-I love Dean with all of my heart, Sam, but I _do_ love you, too..."

"Does Dean even know that you're in here?"

Castiel shook his head. "No, I put him to sleep because he didn't want me to talk to you."

"So what?" Sam shot him an angry look. "You came in here to whore yourself to me the same way you whored yourself out to Dean? If you think you can seduce my brother and then seduce me in the very _same_ _hour_ , well, then you really _are_ a whore."

" _Please_ , **don't** call me that..." Castiel said silently. "And no, I only came in here to talk with you."

"What do you expect me to say, Cass?" Sam asked him. "That I understand? That everything's going to be okay? That it's alright? That _I'm_ alright?"

"You don't have to say anything," Castiel replied quietly. "You only need listen. In the future Jack showed me... I was... in a relationship with both of you, and both of you were accepting to the fact. I don't know what's happening between all of us, but I won't allow my presence here to push you and Dean away from each other, much less put you in harm's way given the fact that Jack said he would follow me no matter where or when I went to..."

Sam blinked at him. "Or _when?_ "

Castiel sighed. "As I told Dean, I could time travel back to the beginning and Jack would be waiting for me when I got there."

"Why is Jack so _obsessed_ with you?"

"I don't know," Castiel said honestly. "He claims it's because I helped his mother—that I'm his father and I saved him and now he wants to save me—but I don't see how the pain he's caused you and Dean by _using_ me _against_ you like this is supposed to help _anyone_." He looked at Sam imploringly again. "I know you may feel as though I've betrayed you, but _please_ don't make me regret my own existence more than I already do..."

Sam's expressions softened to a small degree. He found himself at a sudden loss for words.

"Sam, I... I really am sorry," Castiel continued, earnestly, "that you had to see me like that with Dean, but I'm just as sorry as I was when Dean saw you like that with me... I _hate_ myself for what happened last night. I _hate_ myself for knowing that I'm the cause of all of this pain. I _hate_ myself for ever having been brought back to life in the first place. If I had of just _stayed dead_ , _none_ of this would have happened to either of you and you and Dean both would be alright..."

"Are you kidding me?" Sam began, shocked. " _Alright...?_ Dean and I _both_ were going through _hell_ over your death. We couldn't even bear to _talk_ about you, to _think_ about you, and... I don't need to remind you of the sort of things _Dean_ began getting himself into in order 'cope with your death'." He shuddered at the thought of his brother with all of those shapeshifters.

With both of them now seated on the edge of Sam's bed, Sam and Castiel began to feel awkward and uncomfortable.

"You should take a shower, Cass," Sam muttered, his eyes averted away from Castiel's. "You smell like sex."

"Oh..." Castiel muttered back. "I suppose you're right. I just—I just didn't want to wait too long to talk to you..."

"Go take a shower." Sam sighed again. "And we'll continue this conversation later."

Castiel stood and walked toward the door to Sam's room, closing it behind him as he walked out into the hall, walking slowly down said hall until he had once again reached Dean's room.

He opened the door and then closed it behind him.


End file.
